FAN POST Please repost anon! Huge issues tonights! BM ever so graciously let us have a Monday night with the kids, mainly because she had other things going on. Anyway I have two children of my own, daughter about to be 16 and son that is 10. DH has three, daughter 11, two sons 9 and 8. He divorced her back in 2008 and he and I have been married since October (dated almost three years). Anyway I bought all three boys matching old navy fleece jackets (they had a 5 dollar sale this past weekend, woohoo) so anyway we get bright colors because all our kids are in soccer and when they arent playing and we are watching outdoor games they tend to run off. If they are all matching and in bright colors we can see them better. So anyway Im telling the boys about their new fleece jackets as we are getting out of my car. My son wasnt with us, with his dad. Oldest step son says he doesnt like it when I buy them matching clothing. I asked him why. He said because we dont have the same skin color, hair color, eye color. He went on to say me and my brother are the same but A is different, you can get matching jackets for us, but not for A. I was really pissed at this point but didnt show it.. My son is half white, half Hispanic. I talked to stepson about calling out differences in skin color and that it can hurt others feelings and also that singling people out is not fair. I asked him where he got this info from that he and my son are so different because it just doesnt sound like something he would come up with on his own, they all three usually get along great, even play on the same soccer team. Of course both boys say mommy tells us that. Im fuming mad! Like I want to rip her heart out and feed it to her!!!! My God why would any woman teach their children thats its basically okay to be racist?! And get this, she is white, and teaches at an all African American Highschool! The boys then went into ALL the things BM has been sayin about my son. She also says to them that people of color are not as smart as white people. She tells them that my son is a spoiled brat and a cry baby and that he is different than them and not their brother but their STEPbrother emphasis on the step. Im so mad I have to vent somewhere. DH and I had a long talk with kids about racism and singling others out and pointing out differences and about their mothers motives. They all agreed that her behavior is very wrong. They have all told us thy would rather live with us at different times. Their mom is basically crazy. She has done so much stuff to them, hits them with spoons, threatens them constantly. Very, very manipulative. We have joint custody but she had primary conservatorship so she has them more than we do. The oldest said their mother gets mad at them when they refer to me as stepmom and makes them just refer to me by my first name. So ridiculous. My youngest stepson said he wishes he could just call me mom. I love them all so much. I hate that she is trying to create this division among our children, like its not hard enough blending a family of five. DH is worried that if we tell her anything she will take it out on the kids and that they will stop telling us stuff. Its happened in the past. But I want to tell her off! Every fiber of me wants to put her in her place because she is hurting my babies and that is NOT OKAY!! We want to take her to court and try to switch custody over but we just dont have the money and dont have enough proof of all her craziness! Ugh this is so very frustrating, we both feel so powerless. We just document everything hoping one day we will have our day in court. Any advice?
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 23:05:30 +0000
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