FIFE CUP MATCH REPORT: Legion Rovers Vs Jeffrey United Following last weekends frivolity in Newcastle at Assistant Coach Fudge’s stag do, the Jeff’s were thankful at being presented with an easy week against Legion Rovers at a wet and somewhat muddy Warout Stadium. Amongst the hopeful starters in what would surely be a goalfest of a tie was Lee ‘Buritto’ Greer, fresh back from another trip to the North East without putting his hand in pocket other than for a game of pocket billiards. By the way that chancer has dodged mare payouts than Stevie the Bookie. As the teams lined up to kick off both paid their respects to the brave, fearless soldiers from conflicts of the past, a wonderful sight to see today’s young men observe the two minutes of silence for our fallen, but not forgotten heroes. Jeff’s started the game like the Moleman in a brewery, pushing up front, heading for the bar and desperate to get as many in as possible. Unfortunately, Moleman himself was nowhere to be seen after burning himself oot in the Dakota last night pumpin’ his missus, methinks that’s probably the first shot he’s had on target all season. Jeff’s started the rout after Millionaire denim designer Diesel netted on 15 minutes from a set piece. Shortly thereafter young Young was savagely upended in the box by a Legioneer and Tommy Laing doubled the score calmly executing the resultant spot kick. It’s not unusual for Legion to lose on the green, green grass of home but even their crooning ‘keeper couldn’t stop this thunderball. As half-time approached Jeff’s stand in goalie was called into action as Legion almost got to the half-way line, a quick phone call ensured Bibsey made it in time to produce a World class save after Cunningham had made a howling arsehole of himself in the Jeffrey back line. Half Time: Legion Rovers 0 Vs 2 Jeffrey United During the break the Jeff faithful were witness to outstanding man management skills as Legions Coach/Manager/Player/Tea Lady fell out with the serenading saver who stormed off in the cream puff to the dressing room for an early bath. If only Davie Moyes had used this type of management technique he’d have still been in the Old Trafford dug oot, surely a lesson to us all. On 55 mins Jeffrey star Kip Fisher was forced to deploy aggressive tactics as aforementioned CMPTL deliberately booted the ball at Kip’s cuddly coupon whilst he was prostrate on the floor, a bit like Greer in For Your Eyes Only last week I’ve heard. However, nothing came of it as the wee lassie shat himself at the prospect of anything other than handbags. After 65 minutes Jeffrey’s put the boot further in to the struggling and befuddled Legion as Greer netted what must surely be a candidate for goal of the Season, claims that this might’ve been an OG were quickly shrugged off by Greer as he was able show the exact spot where his shiny new boots made contact with the ball. The same shiny new boots he bought this week wi his savings off the train fare to Newcastle. Five minutes later Greeny rounded off the Jeff’s scoring for the day with a well worked team effort that was finished by his pinpoint header into the bottom corner of the well worn net. Legion were gifted a late penalty to make the score look more reasonable but it done little to detract from the sound humping by the vastly superior Leslie outfit, as the Jeff’s go marching on, on ,on! Full Time: Legion Rovers 1 Vs 4 Jeffrey United Great game played in the usual good spirits and a quick shake of the hands and back to the pub. But no!! CMPTL disnae want the Jeffrey’s in his pub because they’re nasty boys that make fun of him in the playground and they write funny things about him on their Facebook page. Shame really, great bunch of boys who enter into the banter with great spirit, pity about CMPTL who needs to ask Santa for a sense of humour for his Christmas, oh aye, and maybe a new goalkeeper an ‘aw.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 18:07:31 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015