FINDING THE WAY By Muyiwa Afolabi Many of us are born with great potentials and ability to fulfil all our dreams and desires. At childhood we keep dreaming and imagining our future; bright, beautiful and full of success. We dont see, anticipate, envisage failure of any sort, we are super convinced we would accomplish all our dreams and expectations. I do hear and see so many children in primary school today still proudly proclaim and declare their dreams, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be an astronaut, I want to be an engineer, I want to be a business man goes all their dreams, and they say it with so much delight and positivity. The parents look at these kids and somewhere in their minds they can only hope and pray these dreams come true for their kids. Because you see for many of these parents, they used to have such dreams too but today, their reality is so very different from the dreams they had. All things being equal there is no way at least the majority wouldnt be living in their dreams today, but in the real world, things are never equal. Life is so unpredictable and precarious, good things happen for bad people and bad things happen to good people at times. Many times what you expect is not what you get and what you get most times is not what you expect. Many of us get very serious about making good success in life, we start early, going to school studying hard and deep, believing if we do all thats required, life will reward us with what we desire. While were at it, we encourage ourselves with the very many people who walked the path were currently threading and became successful. We encourage ourselves in referring to successful people in our field of endeavour. We call the names of the achievers in our field, we call the names of successful lawyers, bankers, engineers, architects, pilots, surgeons , business men and the likes, we look at them and their lives and we smile; encouraged by their achievements and believing if they made it, we would make it as well. What we lack in balance is that we do not think or consider those whom have failed in that same field of endeavour to learn from them. I personally believe there are so many lessons to be learnt in the life of someone that failed too, most essentially, how not to do it. There is a need to understand why they failed, what they missed, the mistakes they made and their wrong calculations. Becoming successful is not a matter of theory. There are too many books, too many speakers, teachers and achievers telling the world how they made it. What Ive observed is that with all the information on how to make it; sharing the attitude, behaviour and principles of the successful, very few people actually still succeed using the stories they heard. Truth is, many successful people dont tell the whole truth about how they succeeded. Many times they want to make it look pretty tough and give the impression its by their personal discipline, hard work, diligence and knowledge, some of them want people to see them as special and superior, they want to appear more serious about life than others, they want to take all the credit for their success. While all these success principles are important, most of the time, its not the main reason why many successful people succeeded. How do I know? there are very many disciplined, hardworking, diligent and knowledgeable people out there today who are still trying to make ends meet. And believe me, all successful and great achievers have personal struggles and weaknesses too. They didnt succeed because theyre better than you, they succeeded because they found the way of success despite their weaknesses and inadequacies. Success is most times not about hard work and ability, success most times is about knowing the way. There is a secret to every success and every successful man has a secret. Please understand me, this secret Im talking about is not a bad thing, its just something they know, have or can do; making them outstanding that they will never disclose to you. They found the way, thats why theyre successful not necessarily because they are better than you. Many of us today are traveling our journeys in life using what I call a map. Maps are good, they show us where we are and how we can get to where we want to get to. Maps show us the terrain, the route, the distance and how to get there. When you look at a map, the journey looks easy and convenient especially if you understand the map and the map is explicit. This life map, I liken unto books, journals, academic materials, motivational speakers, life coaches and other sources of information that can indicate how to get to your destination. But you see, many maps have their limitations, they do not tell you about the weather; if its going to rain or snow or be sunny on the day of your travel. Maps dont tell you that. Maps dont tell you the temperature; when its going to be really hot or too cold to travel. A map may show you a bridge but the map wont tell you how strong the bridge is. A map will not tell you where the thieves or robbers are likely going to be hiding along the route, the map wont tell you who to trust and relate with and who not to on your way to your destination. A map is good, but has its limitations. Books are good, motivational speakers are fantastic, life coaches are terrific and academic knowledge is important, but they all have their limitations when it comes to your personal journey. How do you then succeed on your journey, how do you ensure youre safe, secure and out of danger? How do you know whom to trust and not to trust on your journey, how do you read the weather and understand the climate on your way? How do you know when to run, when to slow down and when to halt on your journey? How do you understand the step after step decisions you should make as you progress on this journey? First you need the map but much more than the map, you need a guide on your journey. You need to connect with someone who has travelled the journey before and has survived and succeeded. You need someone who would tell you the truth about the journey. You need someone who is honest enough to tell you as it is. You need someone who would hold your hand and lead you through this journey of life. You need someone who is willing to share his experience; the good and the bad so you can learn from their mistakes and need not make those same mistakes. You need someone who has done the journey and his passion is in making others succeed on the journey as well. You need someone whos been hurt, bruised, abused, betrayed, cheated and rejected along the way. Someone whos been in harms way and has survived grave danger. Someone not ashamed to share his mistakes, failures, stupidity and vanity with you. Someone who has mastered the terrain, who knows the traps, the short cuts, the danger, someone who knows when to pause, when to rest and when to keep going. Someone who would not judge or criticise you when you make mistakes and fall, but will encourage you, inspire you, motivate you and carry you when you fall. Dear friend, you cant journey speedily and successfully through life on the account of trial and error, you cant bank on what you read alone because lets face if authors write books to sell and to make good sales they make the content interesting, exciting and motivating even if it is not the gospel truth or hard truth. Most books tell you what will excite you, inspire you; thats the way to make it a good read. Now the principles they share in the books; working within the context of your environment and your personality is a different ball game. Buy books yes, read books, yes, listen to tapes, yes, trust God and pray fervently yes, but you need a guide. You need someone to tell you your own success secret. You need someone who can analyse you, see your strengths, observe your weakness and recommend a unique approach on your journey such that your personal weakness notwithstanding, you continue to progress on your journey as you gradually outgrow and overcome your weaknesses. Listen to me my friend, you cannot spend the whole of your life struggling with your weaknesses working hard to overcome them. You dont have that kind of time, as you focus on your strengths and progress on your journey of success, your weaknesses actually tend to lose their power over you and with time theyre gone, why, because youve stopped focussing on it. A principle in life states that what you focus on gets bigger and what you ignore diminishes. Instead of investing time and channelling your energy towards fighting your weakness, direct the energy and time towards using your strength to progress on your journey. You need a guide, a true friend, a true leader who will take the time to share with you the realities of life and the requirement of your journey. You cant keep running after people who flaunt their success and intimidate you with their material and financial surplus - Taking the glory and making you feel inferior and underserving of the grace of God. Dear friend, this year find that person, youve struggled long enough, youve trusted long enough and youve stretched your faith far enough, its time to find that person who can truly help you. Look for that person and do all you can to connect with such a person. Seek after this person for experience and knowledge not necessarily for financial or material support as he or she may not have enough to go round everyone. What you need from this person include knowledge, skills, wisdom, relationships, contact, opportunities, big moments and open doors. Let this person make clear to you the right time, the right location, the right price, the packaging, the positioning and the how to service your world. Stop struggling with a map, as good as a map is, a guide is much better, it makes your journey faster, easier and better. A guide has done the journey and is still on location, hes helped so many people through the paths, he knows the way; hes been there, done it and mastered the territory. Dear friend, resolve this year to apprehend all you need to be happy, free and fulfilled. Connect with that person that will assist you. You need someone, no one succeeds alone without help or support from others. Dont let pride keep you away from that sweet life, dont be stubborn in your mediocrity and obscurity. Find a helper. There are many good role models around, many good coaches around, many successful yet humble leaders around. Find them, connect with them, learn from them and zoom your way to your destination. Theres always a secret to every trade, every business, every career and every accomplishment, seek the secret for yours and succeed. Dear friend where are you going this year? How far are you going this year? What major decisions are you making this year? What major event is taking place in your life this year? Whats the cost of your journey this year; how much money, time and work are required for success? What sacrifices are required for you to make – what pleasure, relationship, sleep and leisure do you need to give up? What fresh needs do you have; people, association; study? Whats the guarantee youll succeed? You need a guide!enjoy your day.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 09:45:47 +0000
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