FORGIVENESS IS NOT OPTIONAL IF YOU CLAIM TO BE A CHRISTIAN! How many of you have ever been hurt by another? How many have had a friend stab you in the back? How many of you have had an enemy really get one over on you? How many have been the victim of malicious gossip, or been disappointed by a spouse or a child? We’ve all been in these situations and the pain we receive is very real! We truly are the victims. But what does the Bible say about how we should handle this pain? When we are hurt, the flesh tells us either to withdraw and nurse our pain by avoiding the perpetrator or giving him/her the silent treatment, or in the alternative, the flesh wants us to calculate how to get our revenge. Revenge is sweet! Right? People who get revenge will tell you, it doesn’t solve anything. The pain from the original injury is still there. I once knew a lady who told me, “If anyone ever crosses me, even once, I’m burning that bridge. They’ll never get to me again!” I told her, “If you burn all your bridges, you’ll be on an island all by yourself.” Indeed, that is how she lived. I knew another lady who would tell her husband, “That’s just one more thing on my list!” every time he did something to annoy her. I told her, “Throw away that list, or you’ll have to get rid of your husband.” About five years later, she got rid of her husband. Both of these ladies believe in Jesus Christ, but their conduct was directly opposite to what Christ has demanded of us in the Scripture readings, today. With regard to the list and the lost husband, I am reminded of Psalm 130, where the psalmist declares to God, If you O LORD, kept a record of sins, O LORD, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness; therefore You are feared. Psalm 130:3-4. Christian, if your husband or wife kept a list of every wrong thing you ever did, every time you disappointed, who of you could keep your marriage? If you did this to your friends, how long could your relationship last? There is only so much paper on our lists, and eventually, with the passage of time, we will all get to the bottom. How about our relationship with God? How many times a day do we sin, by either doing something wrong in our actions, deeds or thoughts? How many times do we fail to do what we know we should? If God kept account of all of this, how many of us could look forward to salvation? This is why Jesus Christ came to earth. This is why He consented to be stripped naked, spat upon, maligned and insulted. This is why He allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross and killed. He did this so that God could fully and finally throw away that list. He did this, so that He could offer us true and complete forgiveness. He demands of us, the same thing that He did for us. We must forgive. Forgiveness Is Not Optional Jesus gave us the parable of the unmerciful servant as He described how we must conduct ourselves as Christians. He told a story of a Master and a Servant. This servant was greatly indebted to the Master. He owed the equivalent of millions of dollars, and there was no way the servant could repay. Now, back then, they did not have Chapter 7 bankruptcy. If you owed money you could not repay, your creditors had the right to sell you and your family into slavery to repay the debt, or even more cruelly, put you into a debtor’s prison, to be mistreated until your friends and loved ones raised enough money to repay the debt and get you out! While the master intended to have the servant and his family sold into slavery, he was touched by compassion towards the servant who was pleading for more time. Realistically, the servant would require thousands of years to repay such a large sum, so instead, the Master said, “Just forget about it. Your debts are forgiven!” He didn’t just refinance the debt, but told the servant he was free of the obligation. No more debt. No more prospect of slavery. Freedom! Now, if the parable stopped here, we would have a good picture of what God has done for us. Due to our sin, we owed Him a great debt that we never in our lifetimes could repay, but God in His Mercy incarnated His Son, Jesus, to become Man, and pay the price on our behalf. We are freed of the debt of sin, and saved from the prospect of slavery, and instead given freedom in Christ Jesus. What rapture, what joy we should feel when thinking on this. Just like that servant must have felt. But, no−the parable doesn’t end here. The forgiven servant, himself, was owed money by a fellow servant. This fellow owed the equivalent of about three- month’s salary. Even though the forgiven servant was just freed of this large debt, he went to his fellow and grabbed his neck demanding immediate repayment. When the fellow servant begged for more time, just as the forgiven servant had done, the forgiven servant not only failed to act as his master had done, but instead had the fellow servant thrown into debtor’s prison. When word of this got back to the Master, the Master was infuriated. So much so, that he had the forgiven servant thrown into prison until ALL his debt should be repaid. Since this could never be done, this was the equivalent of a life sentence. Why was the Master infuriated? The forgiven servant had the legal right to act as he did to the fellow servant. The forgiven servant was not acting dishonestly. The fellow servant really owed the money, and the man really didn’t pay it back. No one in the world could blame the forgiven servant. He was just doing justice under the laws of the time. Christian, you and I are often in the same situation. When people have wronged us, all of our friends agree that the perpetrator is a real stinker. They all share in our anger toward the perpetrator, and encourage us in our anger, and even in our desire for revenge. “Don’t let that so and so get away with this! You go girl/guy!” When we are the victims, sometimes it is due to our own fault, or our own misunderstanding, but many times, we are really innocent victims. What does the Bible say we should do when we are wronged? The Master did not question whether the forgiven servant was really owed the money, or whether he had abused the legal process. What upset the Master was that, as a FORGIVEN servant, he did not pay it forward. As Christians, we are not called to stand on our rights, but we are called to stand on our Faith in Jesus Christ. We are called to pass on the mercy and love that we have received from the Master. And there will be horrible consequences if we refuse to pass it on. In the parable, the Master cancelled His forgiveness of the previously forgiven servant. We are told not to read too much into parables, but this parable is followed by direct teaching from Jesus, as He explains the point. He warns, This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you, unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:35 In teaching us how to pray, with the Lord’s prayer, Jesus has us pray the following words, Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. If we pray this prayer, and yet are unwilling to forgive, we are praying judgment upon our own heads. In case we miss the point, Jesus again follows His Lord’s Prayer with direct teaching. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matt. 6:14-15. These direct teachings from Christ tell us in no uncertain terms, that if you are to call yourself a Christian and expect forgiveness from God, then forgiveness from you to your fellow man is not optional! It is a required element of being a Christian. If you are not willing to follow Christ’s example in this, then you do not have saving faith. End of story. Some Christian theologians have problems with Jesus’ teaching about such things. But if we are to be Christian theologians, then we need to take the words of Christ seriously. Here He teaches that forgiveness is not optional. We need to heed the words of Jesus Christ in this matter. Forgiveness is Good For You Laying aside the threat to your eternal soul, if you refuse to forgive, let’s look at the here and now. I have said it before, and will repeat it today. The Holy Bible tells us how to live happy, joyful, and productive lives in the here and now. The Bible is God’s ownership manual for His creation, man. Follow its instructions, and you will be happy. Ignore the instructions to your own peril. Any secular psychologist will tell you that it is unhealthy to hold on to bitterness and un-forgiveness. Despite this common sense approach, it feels so good to be bitter doesn’t it? We all love to be victims. We love to tell the story of how we have been wronged. We love to share with our friends how we have been victimized. We love to plot revenge. Yet, despite how natural this is, it is exactly the wrong approach to our own long term happiness. When I was younger, I was in the Army. I was not a very good soldier. I remember one incident in Boot Camp when we were learning how to throw hand grenades. I pulled the pin, but was so afraid that I hesitated to throw it. The drill sergeant quickly hit me on the helmet with an iron rod, attached a few profanities to my name, then grabbed the grenade and threw it over the wall himself. Then−BOOM! Holding on to bitterness is like pulling the pin from a grenade and then being unwilling to get rid of it. If you hold on to it for too long, it will explode in your face, hurting you and those closest to you. Forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free, and then realizing that prisoner is you. Bitterness is like a prison, but we are holding the door shut with our own power. Let go of the door, and you can go free! It feels so good to nurse our hurt and our bitterness, but truthfully you are just hurting yourself, and honestly, the person against whom you hold a grudge probably doesn’t even care. Have you ever given someone the silent period for a while, and then when you stopped, they weren’t even aware that you were mad? Why don’t we just stop and forgive? Well, many times we feel that we have a RIGHT to be angry. We are the VICTIM. In the parable, the forgiven servant had a RIGHT to collect his money, but the Master didn’t want him to stand on his RIGHTS. He wanted him to share the mercy he had himself received. We also don’t forgive because we don’t love. David cried out, Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love! Psalm 51:1 God’s mercy and forgiveness spring from His love. The reason we often forgive our children of their many wrongs, is because of our love for them. We have received God’s love when we receive His forgiveness. Having received this love, we cannot hold onto it, and deny it to others; even our enemies. We are called on to love everyone, even our enemies. And from this love will spring forgiveness. We also don’t forgive, because we keep telling the story. We keep reminding ourselves of the wrong. We tell it again and again to anyone who will listen, and we play it again and again in our own minds. Have you ever known anyone like that? Have you been that person? In Greek, the word for forgiveness is Aphiemi which literally means To Let Go. Let it Go! The master in the parable knew he would never get back all the money he lost on the forgiven servant. He deemed it better to let it go. When we hold on to bitterness towards a person who has wronged us, every time we see that person or think of that person, we remember the wrong. We associate the sight or thought of that person with the wrong, and we keep feeling the pain again and again. The Bible says God forgives as far as the East is from the West, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12 It’s not that God has a bad case of Alzheimer’s. It is that when God forgives us, He has chosen to stop associating us with the sin we have committed. Instead of seeing and remembering our sin, He remembers the person who He loves. We are called to love like this; To forget like this. To stop associating the person to the wrong they have committed. If we can do this, then we can forgive. Forgiving Isn’t Easy “Fine,” you say. “You have convinced me by the above threats and promises that I need to forgive, but forgiving isn’t easy!” No, it isn’t. But being willing to try is the first step. Below, are some helpful pointers to help you forgive, if you want to try. Remember, since we are human, we really can’t instantaneously forgive someone who has really hurt us. Forgiveness must come in layers. After peeling back each layer, we find another we need to deal with. 1. Focus on your own walk with God. Much of this has more to do with your own walk with God, than with your relationship with the perpetrator. In the great psalm of confession, David prayed, Against you, and you only have I sinned. Truth is, David also sinned greatly against Uriah. But that was passed. Now David was trying to focus on his relationship with God. Forgiving your perpetrator is essential to your own healthy relationship with God. With this in mind, begin with the following prayer, “For Your sake, help me to forgive Mr. X.” At the beginning, you may not have ANY desire to forgive the wrongdoer, so make it about your relationship with God, instead. 2. Pray: “I forgive Mr. X, help me to mean it!” After you have forgiven Mr. X for God’s sake, learn to say the words in prayer, even if your heart doesn’t mean it. Ask for God’s help to bring your heart along with the words of your confession. 3. For your own sake, try to forget the wrong. Start by Stop telling the story. Every very time you start to tell the story, catch yourself and stop. The wrongdoer victimized you once, long ago. But every time you bring up the story in your own mind, you are victimizing yourself with the pain all over again. Try to stop associating the person you are trying to forgive, with the wrong they committed. 4. Realize that it is God who serves Justice not you! So often we hold on to bitterness because we want to teach the wrong doer a lesson, and make sure he or she doesn’t do it again. But Christian, it is not your duty to mete out God’s justice by teaching lessons. Your job is to forgive. God says, It is mine to avenge; I will repay says the Lord. Romans 12:16. When WE try to mete out justice through our bitterness, we are attempting to takes God’s power into our own hands, and show a lack of faith in God. Rather, we are commanded to do good to those who have harmed us. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good! Romans 12:20-21. When our sense of justice is offended, and it is standing in the way of forgiveness, pray. “Lord. I trust in your justice. If my reputation or financial status was harmed by Mr. X, I realize that really it was your reputation and your finances that were harmed, because I am your servant.” Trust God to repay. This is a good place to mention a special circumstance. If your wrongdoer has committed a crime against you or a loved one, by all means notify the authorities. They, not you, serve as an instrument of God’s justice on earth. It is the job of the police and the courts to mete out justice. After the arrest, you will want to work on forgiving the perpetrator from your heart, but the Bible does not tell you to let the perpetrator who has committed criminal acts to get off Scott free. In light of the above, try to do something that will bless the wrongdoer! Notice that up until now, you haven’t even spoken to the wrongdoer. It has all been between you and God. No. You don’t need to go up to the guy and say, “I forgive you.” Especially, if he/she hasn’t even asked for forgiveness. It has all been between you and God. You have been doing heart work, to mend your own wounded heart. Now it is time to act, not speak. Do something nice to bless the wrongdoer, and don’t say a word. Pray for the wrongdoer. Pray that he/she will see the error of his/her ways and repent, and ask you for forgiveness and reconcile with you. This day may never come. Many times it doesn’t, but you should pray for it anyway. If the time comes that your enemy requests forgiveness, freely give it. If you have followed the above steps, you will be able to forgive your brother or sister from your heart; especially if they have asked for it. Brothers and sisters. If a person has wronged you, how many times should you forgive them? Not just once or several times, but 7 times 70 times. As a Christian, you are called to and even mandated to take the love and forgiveness that you have received from God and pass it on to those around you. Only then will you be in God’s will for your life, and only then will you enjoy the true peace and happiness that passes all understanding! Bless you all in your walk with Jesus Christ! Reflections: FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE OTHERS 1. Has someone really hurt you in the past? How have you dealt with this injury? Do you still think about it? Have you truly forgiven the person who hurt you? If not, who is hurt worse by your lack of forgiveness, you or the perpetrator? 2. Do you suppose there might be levels of forgiveness? If so, how would you describe them? 3. If you forgive someone, does that mean you must be their friend? 4. Can you forgive someone who is not sorry, and who has not requested your forgiveness? On what levels can you forgive them, and on what levels must you hold back? 5. What are the spiritual consequences of withholding forgiveness? Should we take Jesus seriously when he says that the Father won’t forgive us our sins if we don’t forgive others? 6. Will uttering the Sinners Prayer be sufficient to receive God’s forgiveness, while we continue to hold onto grudges and bitterness? If so, why? By Michael Faber
Posted on: Sat, 28 Sep 2013 17:35:50 +0000
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