FORTUNATE / BLESSED MARRIAGE Friday Sermon (Jummaah Khutbah) Date: 9thRABIUL-AUWAL, equivalent to 10th JANUARY, 2014 AN - NOOR MASJID, ICICE, WUSE II, ABUJA FORTUNATE / BLESSED MARRIAGE O servants of Allah! Fear Allah as He is to be feared because. Fear of Allah is the best way to happiness and prosperity and going against it will lead to perdition. Marriage is a gift, a special bond between man and woman, husband and wife. A spouse has been described as “a partner, companion and best friend”. The closeness between spouses is unlike any other relationship. The following verse from the Qur’an sums it up perfectly: “They are your garments and you are their garments” [Surah Al Baqarah 2:187]. This illustrates how spouses provide one another with protection, comfort, cover, support and adornment that garments provide to humans. First and foremost, do not expect your partner to be perfect. Only Allah is perfect. All of us have our good points and our bad points, strengths and weaknesses. Husbands and wives must learn to delight in the good points and accept the bad. Patience is a virtue. Tolerance as well. We cannot expect to always agree with our spouses. They are persons with their own personalities, views, likes and dislikes, which we should try to understand rather than change. A happy marriage cannot be taken for granted. It requires choosing a religious person. Parents should not make dowry unbearable to youth. Because Islam is easiness, even the affluent among the Sahabah did not exaggerate on dowry. Parents should know that the dowry given by the groom does not belong to them but rather belongs to the bride. However, the bride can allow her parents to do whatever they need with it. Both partners in marriage should feel free to speak their mind but must be careful not to hurt the other’s feelings. Problems between couples may arise from a lack of information before marriage, immaturity in terms of responsibility... Islam requires that both families should give necessary details on what they know about their children to the other family before wedding. In marriage, the husband takes the lead. Marriage is a partnership. Rather than being a dictator in the relationship, the husband is seen more as a shepherd who is responsible for and to his flock. In Islam, a leader is one who serves, manages, provides and nourishes and does so with humbleness and humility. The husband is expected to consult his wife (Shura), especially in relation to family matters, and to respect and value her opinion. It is important to make time for each other and to enjoy spending time together. It is only through being together that we can learn how to share our hopes and fears and to feel responsible for each other. When this bond is strong, the couple becomes a “team”, working together for the same ends. Set aside time together. This is especially important if both partners are working. This time can be spent praying together, deciding upon finances or a weekly menu, pursuing a hobby together or simply taking time to enjoy each other’s company. Giving each other sufficient space in the relationship will bring balance. In addition, show forgiveness if your partner makes a mistake and do not hold grudges. Develop closeness and fondness by laughing and having fun together. Commitment to Allah, As Islam is a way of life; it is an integral part of the couple’s relationship. They are bound by their common faith and in their desire to please Allah (SWT). Each should be responsible for enhancing their partner’s spiritual development. Support each other in your obedience to Allah (SWT) and make time to pray together. This will strengthen your relationship with Allah (SWT) and, in turn, ensure that your marital bond remains strong. It is no bad but rather recommended if you see somebody whom you notice to be a religious person to recommend your daughter or somebody you know for marriage. Umar Ibin Alkhattab [May Allah be pleased with him] has one day recommended his daughter Hafsah [May Allah be pleased with her] to Uthman [May Allah be pleased with him]. Uthman humbly declined but Umar was not angry. Umar recommended her to Abubakar [May Allah be pleased with him] who also declined and Umar still did not get angry and never gave up, he then recommended her to Prophet Muhammad who accepted her and married her immediately. Therefore, to forbid and abhor endorsing proposal of marriage from religious and trustworthy people that come to seek marriage of ones daughter is violation of Islamic injunction. SOME KEY POINTS TO ENSURE YOUR HAPPINESS AS HUSBAND AND WIFE v Kindness: Your husband/wife is the closest person to you in the whole world; he/she is the most deserving of your best side. Show each other your fullest kindness and care so as to remain one heart and one soul at the same time. v Friendship: Spend time together doing things that you both enjoy. Share your interests and your thoughts. Be open with one another and show that you can be a trusted confidently. Smile, have fun. Ensure that your home is a happy place. v Personal appearance: Take care of your personal appearance. Keep yourself clean and make an effort to look good and charming to each other. v Finances: As your husband is the provider for the family, try not to ask him for things that are unnecessary and ensure that you live within your husband’s means. Do not compare your possessions with those of other women and be satisfied with what your husband can afford. v Obedience: Islam grants the husband the position of head of the family: “Men are protectors and maintainers of women” [Qur’an 4:34] and a wife’s role is as support and consultant. Therefore, a wife is expected to obey her husband unless what he asks of her is haram. v Respect for family and friends: Treat his family and friends respectfully. Pay them visits and invite them to your home. Help them out when they need it. They are to do the same for you. Take time to get to know them and learn to love what your husband loves about them. He will love you all the more for it! v Disagreements: Guard what you say. In the heat of the moment we often say hurtful things that we don’t really mean. Let your anger die down first. Wait until you are alone and do not bring shame upon yourselves by arguing in the company of others. v Forgiveness: If you make a mistake, admit it and ask for forgiveness. Be prepared to forgive your husband’s mistakes too. Honesty is essential in a relationship. We ask Allah (SWT) for forgiveness, so why not our spouses too? Forgive each other and move on. v Support: As a wife, you should be your husband’s greatest supporter. Encourage him to achieve his goals in life and give him a shoulder to lean on when he is upset. The gesture is mutual. v Islamic education: Help your spouse to grow as a Muslim. Spend time praying together and encourage each other to partake in Islamic groups or activities. Make Du’a for Allah to bless your marriage. Devise ways in which you can further your Islamic knowledge and commitment together. v Make your marriage an act of worship: Finally, remember that by getting married you are completing half your deen. When both spouses strive to please Allah their marriage becomes an act of worship. This will please Allah and He will reward you with happiness and stability in your marriage.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 18:02:15 +0000
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