Feeling very emotional this week with my dads birthday yesterday and Christmas Eve tonight.I know as life goes on and we grow older, people grow up, move on, pass away and traditions change. For some reason tonight. I am feeling very emotional over the past ....could be the month long marathon of Hallmark & LIfetime Movie Network marathon Ive been watching. Anyway....the past few years just havent seemed like Christmas to me. It has nothing to do with gifts, having money, or being broke.....Lots of things have changed.....I have lost many family members: my dad. granny, mawmaw, sissie, and Aunt Joyce.....we gained a wonderful angel, my son Jacob Brown...I truly believe in my heart he was brought into the world to prepare us and help up get through the following years of heart ache we were about to endure. I miss being young and believing in Santa.....I love the idea of Santa...I love the magic of him and the excitement and glimmer in childrens eyes... Growing up, Mom, Judy Walsh Brown and Dad worked on Christmas Eve....I can remember being at Grannys house (which is now my house) sitting in the den helping wrap presents until dad would get off work and pick us both up to take home....we would have spent the days making refrigerator roll cookies and fudge....Chip Brown and Matt Brown would be at MawmAw & Joyces and when Joyce got off work, shed load them all up in car and bring them to our home. We would have dinner and snacks while opening our presents from each other. We always got christmas jammies as well....It seemed like FOREVER waiting up for time to go to Midnight Mass....but the music was so beautiful....as a child I always thought Id want to get married in the assumption.....after church was over wed head back home and eat one more snack before getting in bed.....Santa was on his way.....Everyone spent the night over so they could see us with our Santa gifts.....now we were not the normal kids....we generally had to be woke up...we werent the bright eyed kiddos up at 4am LOL So after our gifts, we ate a big country breakfast and MawMaw would head back home to go to her church service and then wed all meet 2 houses down at Sissies with the Brown family... ..Such great memories...I can remember when I had Jacob how excited I was to raise him under these same traditions.....Sadly that hasnt happened over the years....my father passed a month after Jacob was born and it still devastates me at times when I think of the relationship they could have had. As Jacob started to grow up he saw his granny, mawmaw, and aunt pass away....all our traditions started to change...Jacob was lucky enough to begin his own traditions spending the holidays with his father, stepmother, and brothers and sisters.....As he continues to grow he will have the opportunity to elaborate on what traditions he will like to start.......I will say, no matter what, I do still have my mom , and both my brothers,...they may hate each other 99% of the time but I have faith deep down there is love.....they just arent ready to come to terms with it.......We also have our new family the Halls. Arthur Hall Anne Marie Walker,and Richard Hall.They have welcomed us in and started a new set of traditions......just like real family...we all have our moments when we argue, get our feelings hurt, but in the end we care about each other and love each other.....I guess what I am trying to say is.....remember your past....your old traditions.....try and incorporate some of the old with the new.....Dont mourn for whats gone....it never truly leaves...it stays in your heart...why not share it and help make a new tradition.....
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 04:58:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015