Fifteen years ago, when Forrest and I were newly married, I remember when we got into one of our first fights. I got pretty fired up and I remember him responding to me, This isnt you. Are you doing okay? Whats going on for you? Time stood still in that moment. It took my breath away. It caught me off guard and had the effect of having me observe myself. I didnt say my thoughts out loud, but they were, This is me. Im not proud of this side of me, but this is the me that has come out numerous times with my mom. Have I never shown this side of myself to you before? His kindness and belief of the best of me inspired me. The word inspire means to breathe life into. I had new life breathed into me to be a better version of myself. I had new life breathed into me to ask myself, Vanessa, who are you? You get to decide. I had new life breathed into me to know that I had the power of choosing how I wanted to show up. I didnt have to be reactionary. I could create my experiences. Viktor Frankl, author of Mans Search for Meaning, wrote Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. As a business coach, every single day I work with entrepreneurs. And a common question is how to overcome an unsupportive spouse, family members or friends. Doesnt it feel amazing when someone believes the best about you? We show up differently when we are in the presence of someone with whom we feel no expectations to be anyone other than ourselves and know we are fully loved. I certainly felt that way in that moment when Forrest was believing the best of me. I wanted to BE the best of me. The kind of people you want in your life...BE THAT PERSON. Be that person to your unsupportive spouse or family or friends. How can you love them right where they are and not expect them to be a particular way for you? (And you may decide to love them from a distance, and thats okay, too.) You choose what you trade your moments of life for. So, please, for the love of your soul, be doing work you love. Express your passion. Do purpose-driven work. (If youre not, lets talk.) And if you are doing that, you are called to be a light--in the dark. There WILL be naysayers ALL ALONG THE JOURNEY. When a light shines, the darkness surrounding becomes irrelevant. Remember, you are that light. How can you bring life to those around you? Beijos, XO Vanessa P.S. Ive created a resource for couples to be on the same page about business. Entrepreneurship is not always easy. This has helped Forrest and I immensely over the years, even though I never get firey anymore. ;) vanessahorn.net/balancinggift
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 01:55:45 +0000
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