Five Big Lies That Women Should Stop Believing 1. I have to be beautiful. Seriously? Who decides what THAT means, you...or the media? Your friends? Your mother? What is beauty? The lack of wrinkles? Perfect teeth, hair, body? Muscle tone? Complexion? I hope your answer is none of the above. You know why? Because beauty is character. Beauty is confidence. Beauty is faith in God. Beauty is loving others. Beauty is weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice. Beauty is forthrightness, honesty, sacrificial love. Beauty is patience. Beauty is vulnerability. Beauty is self-control and much more. It has little to do with appearance. In fact, you can’t EVER win that game, because there’s always someone to compare yourself to. In some cases, you’ll be too proud; in others you’ll be too self-critical. Neither is healthy. Stop spending so much time analyzing your physical appearance. Better to sculpt your heart than your body. And stop building relationships with men or women who choose to evaluate you so one-dimensionally. The ONLY result will always be discontent. Guaranteed. 2. I have to be a perfect mother. Whats that? One whos kids always make perfect decisions? You can give up on that one now. Ive never known ONE child who always made good choices. Have you? Did you? The reality is that it’ll never happen. God was a pretty good parent. Both His kids--Adam and Eve made bad choices. Dont judge yourself by every decision your kids make. In fact, dont judge yourself by your parenting at all! Just do your best to model Jesus to your children. Pray for them. Serve them. Trust them, love them and release them. Thats all you can, or should do. Theyll do just fine. They need to live their own lives. You need to live yours. Celebrate one another. Love unconditionally. But never think that youve succeeded or failed because they are or aren’t like you. Success in any endeavor, is to just do the best you can with what youve got. Dont make it more complicated than that. It isnt. 3. I cant have a career and still be a good mom. Another common lie. I know many moms who have wonderful careers who are great moms. Resist the urge to criticize others who just choose to be different than you. Dont make off-the-cuff comments about what theyre missing when their not at home. They may manage their time at home with their family better than you do. They may watch less television and have more engaging conversations. Being home doesn’t make one a great mom, anymore than being at work makes her inferior. None of us know what others of us need, personally, financially or otherwise. Criticizing other moms will never make you a better one. We all have enough guilt to deal with on our own. Choose the high road. Be beautiful on the inside. Reserve your easy answers for math problems, not other peoples lives. Why not just celebrate ALL women, especially the ones who are different than you. Youll never make your crown shine brighter by rubbing the glitter off someone elses, ever. 4. Im selfish or less than because I dont have children. Never tell yourself that and never say it about others. Having children is not an essential for being successful in life or relationships. I suspect that far too many women have children because they think they should, or because they owe it to their parents. Thats sad. Really, it is. Your life is your life. You dont owe your parents anything but gratitude for what theyve done to raise you. Thats it. Becoming a mom just to make your mom happy is an expectation that is fraught with dysfunction and co-dependency. Many young couples today are choosing to be childless. You know something? Thats okay. Do you know how much courage that takes? Seriously. Dont criticize others who have the courage to make choices that youre either afraid to make, or simply not interested in making. By the way, if you have children because you think they will complete you, youre in for a lot of disappointment. Only God can complete any of us. Kids are wonderful, to be sure, but theyre not God. Never substitute childbearing for contentment and wholeness in Christ. 5. I will never be enough. Ill never be a good enough mom, wife, friend, lover, daughter, employee or Christian. Hey, WHO decides whats good enough? Its a dead-end street friends. Dont play that game. Heres the good news: you ARE enough...in Christ. In every situation you can say, I have Jesus for this...because Hes in you and youre in Him and youre both in the Father. (See John 14:20; Galatians 2:20). Let him live through you. Take His hand and walk through womanhood, motherhood and everything else with peace. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. Come unto HIM and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). Hes a joy-giving God. Theres so much more to say because there are so many more lies that women believe. Over years and years of counseling, I’ve heard them all (by the way, men do the same kinds of things). Im incomplete unless Im married. Ive got to be the perfect hostess. Ive got to be widely-read and have a good grasp of current events. Ive got to serve the church, the PTO, the book club and three more organizations that need volunteers. Ive got to work out at least three days like Alicia or Beth or Marcia. Ive got to know my Bible as well as Barbara does. Hey...STOP! Listen: You.Are.Enough, period. In fact, in Christ, youre more than enough! Youre more than a conqueror in Him (Romans 8:37). You never have to do anything more than be YOU to please God. Seriously. Its all grace. His love is endless and totally unconditional. He accepts you. You dont have to do anything to be more accepted. Just do this: accept your acceptance. The pressures off, friend...unless you insist on continuing to put it on yourself. Maybe today, maybe now, maybe you should just drop to your knees and say, God, thanks for making me, loving me, accepting me...just as I am, right now. Thanks that Youll never give up on me, ever. Thanks that, in Christ, you see me as blameless, perfect, free from accusation (Colossians 1:22). Help me not to accuse myself or condemn myself, but instead love myself...and others...and You. Lord, that will make me complete...and THATS all that matters. I’m Yours and you are mine. Thanks for making me ENOUGH, Lord, in You. I love You. Help me to better understand how incredibly in love You are with me! Let it warm my heart and heal the deepest parts of my soul. Amen.
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 00:46:41 +0000
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