For all my friends not involved with public safety... I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning bedroom for trapped children at 3 AM, flames rolling above your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the floor sagging under your weight as the kitchen below you burns. I wish you could comprehend a wifes horror at 6 in the morning as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively it is too late. But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to try to save his life. I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see absolutely nothing in dense smoke-sensations that Ive become too familiar with. I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a building fire Is this a false alarm or a working fire? How is the building constructed? What hazards await me? Is anyone trapped? Or to call, What is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life-threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun? I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the past 25 minutes, who will never go on her first date or say the words, I love you Mommy again. I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine, squad, or my personal vehicle, the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic. When you need us however, your first comment upon our arrival will be, It took you forever to get here! I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile. What if this was my daughter, sister, my girlfriend or a friend? What was her parents reaction going to be when they opened the door to find a police officer with hat in hand? I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call. I wish you could know how it feels dispatching officers, firefighters and EMTs out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to here a bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing assistance. I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what I do, or as they express their attitudes of It will never happen to me. I wish you could understand why we tend to be so cautious and unfriendly when we pull you over. And I wish you would not take it so personally. I wish you could understand the pain of watching someone who wears the same uniform being laid to rest after being killed in the line of duty. I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen. I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving someones property, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos. I wish you could understand why we hate it when you look at us and tell your little child, If you dont behave, Im gonna give you to that policeman. Great, now theyre scared of us. So who do you want them to call when things go bad? I wish you could understand the terror that courses through your veins in the seconds before you make a life and death decision because someone you probably have never met is determined to kill you. I wish you could understand the frustration of arriving at a call and finding someone with a gun, knowing that you have milliseconds to decide if you need to shoot or not, while after the fact, your actions will be debated for months by many who have never even held a gun. I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, Is Mommy okay? Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having CPR done on him as they take him away in the Medic Unit. You know all along he did not have his seat belt on. A sensation that I have become too familiar with. I wish you could know what it is like to see the aftermath of someone taking their own life. To end it in such a manner that forever sticks in your head. Or a grandmother of 4 collapse in front on her family, while you do all you can to keep the spirit and morale of the family high, but deep down in your heart, you know she wont wake up. I wish you could know what it is like to perform CPR on your old coach from when you were young. Someone who was there for you, and now you have the chance to be there for them, but deep down, all efforts will fail you. I wish you could know what its like to spend 10+ hours in near zero degree temperatures, turning people around and sending them home because the roads are too dangerous to drive on - and when you get home yourself, be unable to rid yourself of body racking shudders from the cold lodged inside you, no matter how many quilts you pile on or how high you turn the heat. I wish you could see the fear on my familys face everytime the tones go off and the dispatcher pages my company -never knowing if this time will be the last time they call be careful and come home safe to me as I rush out our door to save an innocent life. Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to us...I wish you could though. Everyone of these situations has happened and all of you out there in public safety can relate...
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 00:59:02 +0000
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