For anyone starting a journey or getting ready to join a gym-(Long post, but please read) CONGRATS!!!! I know you are scared. I know maybe you feel lost but yet excited. I have been there. On more then one occasion. I remember knowing and feeling like I had enough, this is it and Im going to change. I had great intention. I armed myself with new shoes, new work out clothes, I followed fitness pages, I dusted off my exercise bike, I bought a Polar, I made sure I had my fave music... Then it was time to start. I woke up, got on that bike, because I was afraid of joining a gym. I was 270+ lbs and I wasnt walking in that gym. I was ashamed, embarrassed and I didnt want them to look at me and think, she wont make it a week. So I got on my bike, cranked up the tunes, started my Polar and I started peddaling. I thought, I got this. I can do an hour.. Piece of cake. After 5 mins, I was dying, I wanted to cry. My legs burned and Eewww, I was sweating.. What in the hell!? I made it 10 mins. I got off the bike and my legs felt like jello! I thought to myself why am I doing this, it hurts and I hate it. I already gave up soda, isnt that good enough? I wanted to quit and it was day 1. I had a huge heart to heart with myself that day. Why was I doing this? How did I get here? I was mad at myself for all the years of being out of control, neglecting my health. Never putting myself first. So I vowed to myself, Im not quitting. I thought, any movement is better then sitting on that couch. Day after day, I challenged myself to go one more minute on that bike then the day before. I logged in My Fitness Pal Every day. Before ya know it a week went by. It was hard keeping motivated at times, but I just thought, why ruin the hard work I put in and that sweat.. Ee A month went by, then it became habit. I was seeing results.. Holy crap! I still didnt join a gym. I kept up with my bike, started doing floor work, walking outside. I even started hiking. There were days I didnt want to, days I didnt want to eat right. I would drive by a fast food place and think, just give me that, I dont feel like cooking. I would seriously have talks with myself. I told myself, you are crazy. You are not going back to your old ways, thats what landed you in Miserableville to begin with. It also helped, that I had kid eyeballs in the back seat watching me. Yeah, I have three kids, they are my biggest motivation. I had bad days. I had cheats here and there. But I didnt stop getting on that bike. I didnt stop walking. That walking eventually turned into a jog for 30 seconds here and there. Huh? Me run? Yup, I said, one day Im going to run a mile. I never ran in my life. EVER. The only way I was running is if Zombies were chasing me. Get the point? So every night I walked, in the dark, because I didnt want neighbors seeing me. If I decided to try and run, I didnt want them to see me fail when I stopped after 20 seconds. After a week, I said WTH am I doing. You are out here busting your butt, who Cares what people think. So I walked and ran when I wanted to. I thought maybe I can encourage someone else. People started waving at me. Talking to me. Before you know it, one night I set out and I said this is it, Im going to run this mile. The whole way. Im just going to do it. Music on, Polar on, positive voice on..I started running. Im doing good, I round the first corner, there is a slight hill. My legs start burning, I want to quit. I keep running. I start thinking of every bad name I was ever called. The people who made me cry. The embarrassing times. The people who asked how far along I was and I wasnt event pregnant. I kept running. The boys who laughed at me, used me, called me awful things when I walked by. I kept running. I had a shit ton of people to prove wrong here. What, Im half way there?! Then I start thinking about how Im going to feel when I finish. My first mile.. Im tired, want to quit still.. I start quoting fricken movies in my head. Yes I said, Run Forest Run. Dont judge me. I did everything in my power, even running to Every beat of every song, to run that first mile. I did it. I ran the whole thing. I collapsed at my front door and cried. I look up, my kids are cheering me on, my husband is crying. He rode a bike next to me the whole time. I didnt talk to him once. I kept those ear phones in. I heard him say things between songs. You got this. Youre almost there. Im so proud of you. My point is, DONT GIVE UP!!! You have to believe in yourself. I lost the majority of my weight at home before I joined a gym. I ate healthy, counted calories, exercised. Day in and day out. You will want to quit. You wil cry. You will sweat, Ewe. Heres the good part. You will start to love it. You will start craving it. You will believe in yourself. You will start having confidence again. You will start to see results. Nothing comes easy. There is no magic pill. No secret. There is you, your shoes, and the pavement. You didnt gain it all over night and you wont lose it over night. I changed my relationship with food and I changed my internal dialogue with myself. No one was meaner to me then me. I know the ugly things you say to yourself, I did it too. STOP IT. YOU DONT DESERVE THAT! You are worthy of health and happiness. You have every right to walk into that gym just as the people who have been there awhile. You go outside day or night and walk and run. You deserve to smile. To love yourself. To enjoy life. We all started at Day 1. Do not compare your day 1 to anyones Day 365. We are all on a journey, but at diff places at diff times. Dont let that scare you. You never know who you may be inspiring. Hold your head High, dont look back. Never forget where you started but envision what you want to look like in a year and know that If you believe it, you can achieve it. Much love and respect, Valli
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 15:30:45 +0000