For friends going through tough times right now, a reminder that its never all your fault that a relationship fails. It does take two, and in no universe is it reasonable to think you are responsible for the choices s/he makes when those choices are selfish and cruel. Evil is a pattern of choices people make when they feel no shame at destroying lives and family life. Yet take courage and hope from the research this man and his wife have done over the years. I quote from the article: ....Contempt, they have found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart. People who are focused on criticizing their partners miss a whopping 50 percent of positive things their partners are doing and they see negativity when it’s not there. People who give their partner the cold shoulder—deliberately ignoring the partner or responding minimally—damage the relationship by making their partner feel worthless and invisible, as if they’re not there, not valued. And people who treat their partners with contempt and criticize them not only kill the love in the relationship, but they also kill their partners ability to fight off viruses and cancers. Being mean is the death knell of relationships. Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together....
Posted on: Wed, 25 Jun 2014 01:14:40 +0000
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