For those of you who have been asking about my health (I really need to blog!): Ive always been such a firm believer of modern medicine but after two rounds of antibiotics and my bodys recent reaction to it after 35 days into taking it, I am willing to change my mind and open myself up to a possibly more effective (and costly!) method with alternative therapy. Last week, I had generalized edema all over my body, very similar to how my body was after having epidurals from delivering my babies. On Sunday, my tongue was so swollen that I could hardly swallow. My mind is maddeningly foggy and tormented by constantly managing and anticipating pain and weakness. Im being switched to new antibiotics today but Im wonder why such heavy doses of antibiotics havent given my body relief from the lyme bacteria that is eating my body and life away. As I was curled up on my husband on the couch last night, I burst out into tears, feeling the frustration of constantly being in pain and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For those of you and many others who have suffered with Lyme Disease and have spoken up about co-infections, relapses, false-negatives, I finally hear you. Its through so many people speaking up that I am now armed with information to find new ways to advocate for my health. This morning, I left a message with a guy who practices alternative medicine and Im allowing myself to have new hope to beat this, to have myself and my energy and especially my mind back. I look back on the past working year and I dont really even know who I have been and have become through all of this. I was always been a ball of working energy, hungry for more work, to grow my business, and to become a great photographer and businesswoman. While my wishes to become that person again still remains and though I continue to work as hard as my body allows, there is now a greater gap between who I currently am as a working mom to becoming that career-woman that I aspire to be. I think back on all the jobs that I lost due to my lack of energy to promote myself and to market and because I struggle to return emails efficiently while trying to pump out my work without losing my creative standard at the same time. And most of all, I feel guilty that I couldnt do more for my family, not only because of the jobs lost but just by being healthier, more energized, and happier. So, here it is. Me admitting that I have not been great at my job recently. And here is me, humbly thanking all of my clients and supporters of my work for sticking by me, for being patient and kind and understanding and for continuing to believe in my work. I will beat whatever is going on with my body and come out on the other side as a better wife, mom, friend, daughter, sister, and photographer. Much love, Sunny
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:39:49 +0000
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