“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who cant readily accept the God formula, the big answers dont remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”-Charles Bukowski This is my final goodbye. It has been a hard few days with the passing of my dear friend Taylor. I am 23 and I dont think of it as ive been friends with him for 10 of those years. But I think instead. why the hell was I not friends with him for those 13 years? that is just how space and time separated us, but when we did meet as youngsters outside of a punk show; Taylor sipping on a bottle of Wild Turkey asking if I wanted some, the friendship ignited. After that kindling, I went to almost every show his bands played and watched him pound on the skins with such fury and passion, T-Bird at the helm of his drum kit staring down at it like it owed him money, ready for every beat; I think that is when he was at his happiest. And anyone can agree when his sets would finish and hed see his friends all there to watch him and his bands play, he would hug you and be wild with happiness you had came! Ill miss hearing those drums play and Ill miss taking the piss out of every stupid thing or person we saw on the street and laughing at it; making up words, yelling BALK so loud at 2 A.M. drinking beers in the river valley, looking through his artwork, talking about vikings and music- this kids knowledge on music far outstretched what some may think was just black metal, he know folk, rock n roll, punk and mostly everything but hip hop which id torture him with by blasting it in my van. attempting to walk around 118th ave wearing high prescription coke bottle glasses we bought from Value Village; people on the street thinking we were mad men. Hanging out with you made me feel like we were the cast of Monty Python, invincible, invisible and the funniest people on the planet. We separated as friends for about a year, but when I came back into his life and him into mine, he embraced with me the same brotherly love as when we first met and only said WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?! i apologized for being a shitty friend, but Taylor hated pity and told me Youre not allowed to say sorry. I pulled a very same move on him though when about two years ago he was at my apartment off whyte avenue and was telling an outrageous story, using every single limb like some hindu god, and he lost grip on a glass and it smashed everywhere. He was so upset and was cleaning it up sorry! man James! Will! iam so sorry. I told him what he told me Youre not allowed to be sorry. and if I could tell Taylor now, I dont want him to be sorry. I love you. I love that we had one last weekend here at my apartment, and we could talk and laugh and show each other music just as we had always done. Iam so glad that fate bought your ticket at Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds a few weeks ago, right behind me!!! you shook my shoulders when Stagger Lee came on, i felt your excitement and I was glad you were near and I am glad you are still near and dear to me. Space and Time is only keeping us separated again, but not forever. Remember Taylor No Sorries I love you dear friend, forever and ever.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 19:56:04 +0000
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