For your fun, Just LAUGH. THIS IS THE STORY IT WAS THE VERY FIRST TIME I SMOKED WEED(IGBO). IT IS A LONG NARRATION OF MY EXPERIENCE BUT YOU NEED TO READ THIS THROUGH TO KNOW WHAT LED ME TO THIS AND THE EXPERIENCE. PLEASE,DONT LAUGH AT ME. I HAD JUST MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE AND WAS SHARING A ROOM WITH MY FRIEND. I HAD NO IDEA HE SMOKED WEED,DESPITE HIS SUSPICIOUS MOVEMENTS AND SIGNATURE WEED SCENT(ABI NA ODOUR?) Barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with beans or spagehtti. Being a very curious person,i always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so i decided to find out for myself(wrong move). It was a very hot day in February, a saturday i think it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn’t find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get mugged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there. They were all on different planets. All expect one.I concluded that he must be the seller so i approached him and the following conversation ensued: Me: How far? Weed seller: I dey Me: I wan buy weed Weed seller: How many parcel? Me: parcel ke? Iro oo(No o), na just small I need Weed seller: (Laughs really hard). Bolo leleyi sha (meaning this guy is a dunce) Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i didn’t know that. I thought it was something very large. I gave him 1,000 Naira and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper.I was suprised when he gave me 950 as change. I couldn’t believe weed was that cheap. On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because i thought that it will be better that way(another wrong move). Long story short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, i told him, Ogbeni(Mr) I just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me,this one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i don chop am oo. My friend was like, ehen you be strongman oo.I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor.I was banging my head on the floor, and I couldn’t stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast.Everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging, I was able to get up from the floor.I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously.It was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins(you have to experience it to believe it. Though I strongly advise against it)I felt so uncomfortable in the room.I felt like i was in an oven.SUDDENLY, a voice in my head wisphered, ogbeni bo aso e joor (off your clothes) I obeyed. The voice came again oya sa re(now run).That was when i realised that the weed had taken effect,so i decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my skin,so hot i ran out of the bathroom. I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed i took and i told him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you don eff up, if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad oo. Go chemist make you go explain yourself. By this time things had escalated, i had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard i scratched and i was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbour called SIRO who is a well known boxer and street fighter and told him,Egbon SIRO, e jo e fun mi lese laya (Mr Siro, please punch me in the chest) ti e o ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo (if you don’t punch me i will die) He hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the boys quatters. The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni (Why don’t you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die?)I punched and unched but there was no difference. The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma sare lo(start running) So I started running but on getting outside in the sun, I felt so cold i was shivering but that didn’t stop me from running (I would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money on that day). On getting to the chemist, i realised I was bare- footed.I told him i had a severe headache and that I needed something to make me sleep.Immediately, he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in his presence. Next i asked him to give me a drug for evil spirit, that was when he realised something was wrong with me and chased me out. I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time around to a nurse in the area.The first thing she asked was, Jide Oldschool kilode, o wo bata ni? (Jide Oldschool,why don’t you have your shoes on?) I told her Jackie Chan ti gba bata lowo mi (Jackie Chan collected my shoes) I was finally able to explain my situation to her and she took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting WITHOUT butter NOR tea. I came home to a hero’s welcome, my friend told me, E be like say your head no carry am but e go better make you try am once more so you go dey used to am. The following day while the house was empty, I quickly packed my Ghana must go and like the prodigal son in the bible, I went back home to my parents. It’s been a few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 19:46:19 +0000