Four years ago I started preparing arrogance rife in my head. IAS or nothing else I told myself. Four years and as many attempts later I have moved from a 23 year old to someone on the other side of 25.Last year IRTS this year IRS and now I am told move on you deserve better. I ponder and think what is this better I am running after. My friends a lot of them are getting into IAS this time round and it makes me very happy.But I wonder will IAS ever make me happy. Perhaps I have given up ,perhaps I have rationalized into thinking IAS alone dosent mean happiness. Maybe I am truely a failure who is now giving reasons to hide my own failure.Or perhaps I truly am searching for happiness elsewhere. Someone close to me who is more to me than my own brother is aghast and angry at all the decisions I am making. I dont know what should I live for myself or all the people as I claimed four years ago.Or have I grown actually selfish now only wanting things for myself? I have no idea no answer to all these questions its like the world around me is all in a state of perpetual stillness.I have absolutely no clue to what I want in my life anymore . Perhaps at the core I am nothing all that I dreamt of four years ago am at heart a writer who writes for himself. Or maybe this journey has truely ended with the inspiration in you. Maybe this is the start of a new journey a new life beyond tags beyond services beyond everything else but a life I call my own where I write for myself and where you would inspire me everyday.
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 05:07:04 +0000
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