From 26 February 1993 (the day of the first WTC bombing) to 20 December 1997 (the day I left the State of NY, as a resident, to move to my new home), I could not bring myself to go to the World Trade Center. Knowing this was the last place my father was alive, well, and doing what he did best, it was too emotionally hard for me to visit. Our visit to NY in June 2001, we were too busy saying goodbye to family and friends before moving to Germany for the next four years. To this day, I regret my decision not to go out to The City (the Long Island term for NYC) on this visit either. What would happen just three months later on 11 September 2001 would forever take away the Twin Towers that, to me, would symbolize my fathers dedication to our city. This past June, my son Craig and I, while visiting my family in NY, finally got a chance to go to the National September 11 Memorial & Museum. An emotionally bittersweet day. I finally got my chance to get down to Lower Manhattan. The Twin Towers were not there. My right to see them standing tall was taken away. Having to explain to my 12 year old son, why looking at a wall of granite with names on it, had tears streaming down my face, is not on any mothers dream list, especially when his father, Michael Lane, was at the time deployed with the US Air Force, to the Middle East. One area of the wall is a small section dedicated to the victims of 26 February 1993. For symmetry there is an empty space in the bottom right of the bronze section. In my mind, all I saw in that empty space, was my fathers name etched along side the others. I still hold in my heart that his death, 14 hours after the actual bombing, was from this indirect cause. I will never be able to go back to the site with the physical towers standing, but I will be sure to go back to the Memorial and those reflecting pools any time we get back to NY. For my husband who was a first responder at the 1995 Murrah Building bombing in Oklahoma City, we are lucky enough to have that memorial and museum close enough to visit when we wish. They have an area set aside for the brotherhood/sisterhood that is shared between the survivors and their families here and the survivors and their families in NY. I am not a true Oklahoman, my heart remains in NY. This area dedicated to September 11th, as moving as the rest of the OKC Memorial is, is where I feel the strongest tug at my heart. As for 11 September 2001, I have several friends who knew people from the NYPD, NYFD, NY/NJ PA, NYEMS and from the Pentagon, who perished. They are all in my heart and prayers today.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 17:09:43 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015