From the archives of human error: EXCERPTS FROM PARISH PAPERS “The Ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.” “This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.” “Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.” “Miss Charlene Mason sang, ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.” “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale! It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.” “The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.” “The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus walks on the water.’ – The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus’.” “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.” “Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you!” “Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.” “At the evening service tonight, the topic of the sermon will be ‘What is Hell?’ – Come early and listen to our choir practice.” “Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.” “The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.” “Potluck supper on Sunday at 5pm – prayer and medication to follow.” “The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.” “The associate minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I upped my pledge – up yours!’”
Posted on: Sun, 15 Sep 2013 10:45:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015