GOLF HUMOR A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a > heart attack! > Help me dear, she groans to her husband. > The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up > his putter, and lines up his putt. > His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. > Im dying here and youre putting? > Dont worry dear, says the husband calmly, they found a doctor on the > second hole and hes coming to help you. > Well, how long will it take for him to get here? she asks feebly. > No time at all, says her husband. Everybodys already agreed to let him > play through. > ___________________________ > > A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, You are spectacular; your name is > synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the > course. > Whats your secret? > Mickelson replied, The holes are numbered. > ___________________________ > > A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest > asks, What are you going to use on this hole, my son? > The young man says, An 8-iron, father. How about you? > > The priest says, Im going to hit a soft seven and pray. > The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. > > The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. > The young man says, I dont know about you, father, but in my church, when > we pray, we keep our head down. > ___________________________ > > Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron > standing over a lifeless man. > The detective asks, Maam, is that your husband? > Yes says the woman. > Did you hit him with that golf club? > > Yes, yes, I did. The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her > hands on her face. > > How many times did you hit him? > > I dont know -- put me down for a five. > ___________________________ > > A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his > ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 > trees he thought he could hit through. > Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced > back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. > As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, Are you a good > golfer? > The man replied: Got here in two, didnt I? > ___________________________ > > The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the > groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. > She said: What are your golf clubs doing here? > He looked her right in the eye and said, This isnt going to take all day, > is it?
Posted on: Fri, 11 Oct 2013 21:20:00 +0000