GREAT WISDOM IS THE BYPRODUCT OF DOING STUPID THINGS Throughout my life I’ve done some really stupid things. I’d like to think each of them has made me a little wiser. Cliantro is not the same as that stuff on top of carrots. Yes, I sat in a grocery store and stared aimlessly at the tops of carrots when my mom asked me to pick up some cilantro. My parents suspected as much and sent my little sister to confirm. She found the cilantro, and my parents stopped asking me to run errands. Playing with fire (literally) can get you in trouble with the police. It’s best not to tell them that you’ve started the fire in order to keep warm. They’ll ask why you aren’t wearing more clothes. If you throw rocks against beer bottles, the glass will come back and cause a huge gash in your leg. You will not be able play in the final football game of the season because of your stitches. If you’re a scrawny Indian kid and you live in Texas, it’s probably best not to try out for the football team. There’s something in the water or they’re feeding their kids something different. But 7th graders there are the size of grown men and Indian kids are only good as tackling dummies. The first time you ever drink you’ll convince yourself that your’e not feeling anything. But if you take 6 shots in one hour, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel it for a few days. Unfortunately the only way to learn this lesson is through experience. If you play the tuba, you’ll drive your family insane. It’s loud and not exactly the sound of Michael Jackson in your living room. It also weighs a ton and is a pain to carry around. If you’re in Mexico and you get pulled over, don’t under any circumstances, even if one of your smartest friends says so, step on the gas. Don’t schedule flights at 6am when you’ll be out drinking until 1am. You’ll lose lots of cell phones this way. This list could be much longer. But these are just a few of the things that have made me wiser over the years.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 14:59:38 +0000