GRIEVING A LOSS by Brenda Perry 1/12/15 I was asked to teach on grieving and I can best do this by sharing my own experiences. A definition for grieving is giving pain; afflicting. Sorrowing; exercised with grief; mourning. I believe all life is valuable to God. I do not think any one just dies without purpose or reason. And I believe all of Gods Word. And in my 67 years I have found it all to be true. I have used and tried it and stood on it over and over in so many different situations. And I know it is infallible, usable and true. And the following scripture has held true. And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 We have all experienced grieving sometime in our life. It may have been a parent, grandparent or spouse. Or the loss of a loved pet. We all know the pain that grabs us with such force that we are aware of our physical heart feeling our inner, spiritual pain. My first experience with this was when a boyfriend moved out of state. I was young, maybe 11, he was decent, and I was struck with puppy love. After he moved, when I would think of him I would feel this flutter of pain sweep through my heart. I did not understand it. I did not know what it was until I talked to my Mom about it. She tenderly explained about caring for others. The next time I experienced this was much deeper and lasted a lot longer. I was already married and pregnant with our first daughter at 17. The local policeman knocked on the door at Mom and Dads house and I let him in, as he said,Your brother is dead. Bobby was killed in a car wreck. He grabbed my arms as I almost fainted. There were only 22 months difference in our age, we were very close. And it broke my heart. Later I told a neighbor, It almost makes me not believe there is a God. That was my pain and inability to make meaning from the loss of my my 19 year old brother. It did a lot of damage on the inside and I learned to not hang onto anything too tight as it can be taken away without warning. We did not have support groups then. After watching my family suffer at the loss of Bobbys life, I seen nothing but sorrow and sadness and an inability to get past the hurt. Later, years later, I seen God turn the loss of my brother, the very thing that caused us so very much pain, into a loving, powerful covenant for my children, grandchildren. The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. Isaiah 57:1 Now my brother was not righteousness. But I know he dated a Christian girl before he lost his life and I told myself he had the opportunity to know Jesus. And I thought that was between him and God. I refused to speculate or let satan torment me with thoughts of Bobby being in hell. I serve a Good God. And Bobby got Gods very Best whether God got Bobbys very best or not. My eyes were on God. As time moved on I seen Bobby was still a big part of my life. How could any good come from this? In the many years to follow I learned to live in faith. I knew none of my family would ever be snatched from this life in such a hurtful, fast way again. I knew we would never loose a child or family member in a careless, random act such as a car wreck. A car wreck would never happen that would cause such pain and abrupt separation of a loved one again. This was hidden (manna) knowledge that God revealed as time went on. Years later, when our five children were small, satan tried to take my life and I ended up in the hospital. I was passed out when we got there. Afterwards, my husband said the doctors asked him who Robert was. As they were working on me I kept screaming his name. I knew immediately, I was at deaths door looking for my brother Bobby, given name, Robert. Again,when our children were in their teens, I remember satan causing confusion, as I woke up one morning, thinking my teenage son had died in a car wreck. And I sat there grieving him. In a few minutes I realized I was still grieving my brother. While the pain fades it never ends. One day as I drove to Stillwater, I had a vision of my Mother in a grave. The pain was so real that I started crying and could not stop until I had mourned the pain out. It hurt so bad. Mom and I were close. Just about a year later we buried my Mom. And I knew in Gods tender mercy, he had not only told me ahead and given me special and extra time with Mom that year, but he had also given me part of the pain that day of the vision so I could handle the pain when it happened. Years later when we had grandchildren in there teens I was on my way to Stillwater. When I got to a certain area the Holy Spirit filled me with words and I spoke them out loud, We are not a family of tragedy and sorrow. Tragedy and sorrow does not follow our family. Even those words are a memory of my brother. His death was a tragedy that brought much sorrow. I spoke that over and over in the atmosphere not knowing why but feeling the urgency of it. I did it for a couple miles and stopped. Returning home, when I got in that area, I was urged again to speak, We are not a family of tragedy and sorrow. Tragedy and sorrow does not follow our family, again. It stuck in my heart and I still claim it and speak it often. I also remind my children and grandchildren to speak it. Later that winter my grandson had a bad wreck in that same area. It tore up his pickup but he and the other driver were not harmed! God was having me speak over that area to save my grandsons life. God is Good! He knew what was about to happen. I only knew to obey the Holy Spirit. That was enough. God has confirmed over and over that my brother did not die in vain.While it was not in Gods timing, he was too young, while it caused immense pain, while it seemed to serve no purpose, it started a covenant of protection with God and our family. And that covenant covered my saved and unsaved family alike. And my extended family by marriage. And for that I praise him for all he did. If you are grieving the loss of a child, let me encourage you, God is on the Throne, He knows what He is doing. He knows your pain and your suffering. Please, it is not in vain. But God has a plan in it. If you will trust him. If you need understanding, ask him. If you need your pain eased, ask him. If you can not move forward, tell him. He will help you. Repent if you are angry with him, with his timing. Being angry with God does not make him angry with us. He is Love and wants to hold us close and ease our pain. Do not pull away from God but run to him like a little child running to their Father. And cry your eyes out and he will catch your tears in a bottle and he will remember your suffering and make a way of peace. Hang onto Jesus. He is the Peace that surpasses all understanding. For years I would dream about my brother. I was always looking for him just like in the hospital. Always trying to find him. He was always on my mind and in my heart. And for that reason I sought God. I sought him him fervently, with all my heart and soul. Apparently my brother was not at peace and I wanted him to be at peace, so I pleaded with Jesus to go and reveal himself to Bobby, especially if he did not have the opportunity to know Him. I sought Gods own compassionate heart for my Brother. I knew what his Word said about the rich man in hell asking Abraham to let Lazareth dip the tip of his finger in water, but Abraham denied him. (Like 16:22-26) He had received his goods on earth and now Lazareth received his good in heaven. And there was also a great gulf of water between them. But I did not ask Abraham. My brother was not rich. And this scripture that a friend tried to rob my faith with, did not stand in this circumstance. I asked my Father God and my Lord Jesus. And I asked in faith, the faith of a child, that my Daddy can do anything. (Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, ALL THINGS are possible to him that believeth.) I believed wholeheartedly. And God gave me peace. And I had one last dream about Bobby. This time I was not looking for him, I found him. He was on the other side of a river. The grass was brown, everything there was dead looking on his side. When he seen me, he started running through the water. And I cheered him on until he crossed to my side. On my side the grass was the greenest I ever seen. The trees were tall and beautiful. And I knew what Jesus had done. The same thing he did for three days after being hung on the cross. (Revelation 1:18 I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.) Father God, I ask for your tender mercies for all those who are suffering today from the loss of a child, or sibling, parent or spouse. I ask that you let them feel your Presence and know that you know their pain, and that you are working greater things for generations to come in their family if they will just trust you and stand in faith. I ask you fill them now with your Peace that surpasses all understanding. Anoint them Lord to mourn and then anoint them to live. Bring them to a place where they can share their pain with others, where they can help others to mourn and make it through another day. Strengthen them in their inner man and show them your ultimate plan in all this. I ask in Jesus sweet name and thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 17:06:59 +0000
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