God I love Quora! copy pasting one of the answers for the worst cricket commentator. Shastribot rofl! Fondly called ShastriBot, this mans commentary is nothing but some combination of his common cliches. A lot of cricket enthusiasts have been heard of playing a drinking game whenever Shastri is on commentary. Keep a print out of the list below, and whenever Shastri uses one of these cliches, you have to yell SHASTRIBOT! and take a sip. Most have been too drunk by the end to report their experience. These unique creations are called Shastri-cliché ( \shäs-trē- klē-ˈshā \). Here are nearly 100 of the Shastriclichés (the list has become pretty long for all the suggestions): Just what the doctor ordered. Atmosphere is electrifying. There will be more people coming in as the game progresses. Just get the feeling.... One gets the feeling.... Good delivery, first up. Rapped on the pads. Up goes the finger. No half-measures. Good cricket all around. Flashed and flashed hard. Cool customer. Tricky chase under the lights, when the ball moves around, zips around. Clean striker of the ball. Edged, and taken. In the air, and taken comfortably. Smith doesnt miss those. At the end of the day. Played with soft hands. Important/crucial phase for both the teams. A crucial spell. Sweetly timed, races away to the boundary like a tracer bullet. Quick outfield. Four more. The last thing the Indians would want at this stage of the match is Yuvraj playing a silly shot. The boundaries have dried up. Will go down to the wire. All three results possible here. The sound of timber. Can he pull something out of the hat now? Will do his confidence a world of good. Theres a fielder after it but the ball will win the race. Give it the kitchen sink. Kallis is doing it in singles. Running hard for the second.. and will get it comfortably in the end. Odd ball keeping low. Take the aerial route. Play the sheet anchor. It’s the doosra that’s done the trick. This is excellent bowling. Used the pace of the bowler. Steyn, you beauty! This could be trouble here. What a good shot to bring up his century! Tighten the screws. Brilliant captaincy from Dhoni. I know Sachin personally and... Under Dhoni, you can never write off India. The new/old ball will be crucial. This match is in the balance now. You can see the dew on this surface. You just cant afford to drop those. Thats a competitive total on this surface. The set batsman is rotating the strike very nicely. We could be in for a crackerjack/humdinger of a game. Sachin looks set for a big innings. I just get the feeling 120 will not be enough on this pitch. So MS, great performance by the boys. Runs on the board. Afridi departs for a quickfire 23. Nice little cameo. Pontings 50 has come in good time. They have a great chance if they can bat out the 50 overs. Test cricket is a different cup of tea. Pressure cooker situation. Pollard! Goes for the big one. And thats gone about ten rows back! Great exhibition of power hitting. What an absorbing session of cricket. Hes got a good arm. This is turning out to be a good over. He finishes it off with a good yorker. He’s got two overs up his sleeve. He’ll wait and watch. Bowling change that does the trick. Another big over. Good opportunity to come back into the thick of things. Mixing it up nicely. Makes good use of his height. Getting the odd one to nip back. Bowl wicket to wicket. Natural game. Likes to deal in boundaries. Living dangerously, the two batsmen. This session has set this series up nicely. Hes decided to use the long handle to good effect. I sense that somethings gotta give. Wickets are the need of the hour. If Raina can bat for a few more overs, CSK have every chance of winning this game. Is this going to be another twist in the tail? Nicely timed and will get a single. Thats the beauty of this game. They are in with a chance now. No feet movement at all, just brilliant hand eye co-ordination Hes given it the Full Monty. Bat first and bat big. Theres a lot of cricket left in him. Clarke is a terrific fielder in the covers. Its an absolute belter of a pitch. Hes the the kinda batsman who likes the ball coming on to the bat. Pakistan needs a big partnership. India needs a wicket or two. If India wants to win here, theyll need to play well. We had an excellent exhibition of cricket today. Over 600 runs were scored and in the end, it took a superb innings from Kohli to win the match for India. In the end cricket is the real winner. You can create an entire match worths of cricket commentary of Shastri from the above Shastriclichés. If I have missed some, do help me add. ShastriBot has also been reported to suffer orgasms in situations when a batsman rotates the strike right after hitting a boundary. That is just a little too much of good cricket for him. This is why you will find him moaning(the awkward pauses) in between phrases and sentences. On rare occasions, ShastriBot has been found to pair up with Ramiz Raja for what can easily be called the most epic debacle of cricket commentary.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 10:57:17 +0000
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