“God didnt promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sunshine without rain, but He did promise strength for the day and light for the way.” People continue to ask, “How do you hold it together, how do you cope?” First and foremost, God’s strength and my faith in Him is instilled in me, thank you Lord Jesus to my amazing mother and father and also my Godly grandmother. Without Him, I would fail… I’d fail Emma, I’d fail my husband, my family, my friends, my church, myself, but most of all, I’d fail Christ. My daily reminder is my favorite bible verse from Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” I have many weaknesses, especially through this trail, but God continues to remind me of His faithful and sovereign grace, He sees us through day by day. Second, our “holding it together” or “coping” isn’t a choice, it’s our reality. We fight because Emma needs us to. We keep going because if we don’t, who will? We learn to put our own needs and wants aside because we value the life of our child much more than our own. We don’t get to say “I don’t want to talk about it”, “I don’t want to think about it”…we laugh, we smile, we love, we experience fear and sadness, and we shed tears; all these emotions can come within a day’s time. We take the good days with the bad days, we handle them accordingly and we press on. Our praise to the Lord is that the good days have been many and the bad days have been minimal; Thursday night and Friday morning were bad days. Emma started Doxorubicin on Thursday, along with Cyclophosphamide. Within 30 minutes of the start of treatment, she had gotten sick. The next 2 hours weren’t as bad, but starting at 8 pm on Thursday, she was continuously sick until 10 am Friday morning. To say it was a long night would be an understatement. She would sleep about an hour then be awakened from getting sick. Every two hours they were giving her medicine to help with her symptoms, but nothing seemed to work. She was exhausted, she was sick, she wasn’t Emma. She laid in my lap, holding my hand with what little strength she had. Each time I pushed her hair back, some would fall out into my hands. She never cried, she never whined and she never complained, other than telling me she was really tired. Around 9 am, one of our doctors FINALLY pulled out the big guns. Emend is a medication made specifically to control nausea and vomiting symptoms from Chemotherapy. She received a rather large dose at 10 am and actually got sick while they were administering through her IV port. After the sickness, she fell asleep and stayed that way for 3 straight hours. When she woke up, she actually smiled and said, “Mommy, I feel so much better.” Emend is a miracle drug, and I thanked God that very moment for letting the doctors have this on hand to help her. She will now receive this medicine 30 minutes before her chemo begins and take it over the course of three days, in hopes to ward off the sickness. Her last spell with sickness was at 10 am on Friday and she has been good ever since. She rested for the majority of Friday at the hospital, until it was time to go home. Insurance finally approved her Neulasta shot… good for her health, bad for her pain. As mentioned before, this shot is very painful. One of her own oncologist just finished fighting Breast Cancer and took this very shot. The care team was administering the injection very quickly to get it over with. The Dr. informed them that they were in fact hurting their patients by doing this because of the pain associated with it. She said the best way was slow and steady! Into the room comes one of our favorites from clinic, Nurse Nancy, who explains all of this to Emma. She remembers the pain from last time and starts to cry immediately. It’s hard to get a 7 year old to understand a new concept when they remember the pain and burning. Once we got Emma calmed down, she was able to understand and Nancy let Emma control the amount of medicine she got at one time. It took us about 15 minutes…there were tears and wincing involved, but no screaming fits or flailing limbs. Our strong, brave girl gave herself the shot and took it slow and steady, just like the Dr. had recommended. I say this over and over, but her strength stills amazes me. One of my favorite quotes I’ve seen to date says, “Some people never meet their hero, I gave birth to mine.” She faces each new challenge with an intensity like no other. You know she doesn’t want to do it, but she pushes forward with God on her side, providing her with the strength and courage she needs. Isaiah 40:29 says “He gives strength to those who grow tired and increases the strength of those who are weak.” Saturday morning, Morgan Oakes & Sandy Ramsey, along with The Meredith Gravely School of Dance held a ZUMBAthon for Emma. It was a blast and we had so much fun!!! Even after the treatment that Emma had endured, she was there, dancing her little heart out. It may have only been for 5 minutes at a time, but she was so thrilled to share in the fun and excitement. Thank you Morgan and Sandy, MGSOD, Zumba Instructors and all participants for coming out and supporting us during this time. Our cup runneth over!!! Emmas counts will reach their lowest point over the weekend. The Neulasta shot is given to prompt her bone marrow to produce white blood cells, to fight off infection. She will have blood work drawn this week which will let us know how protective we need to be. Next scheduled chemo and hospitalization is Aug 7. Pray she can sustain her health and doesnt have to see those hospital walls until then. Thanks again for your prayers, love and concern... May God Bless you!
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:41:59 +0000
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