Good Advice that can be used in your work place, with family, and friends. It’s possible to micromanage your relationship right into failure. Do you know how that’s done? In this blog, we’ll look at how micromanagement leaves the workplace and enters the relationship zone—and can ultimately destroy your relationship if you don’t get a grip on it. I’ll give you two tips to help you make it stop. Read on… What Your Micromanagement is ReallySaying to Your Partner If you are micromanaging everything your partner does, guess what: you are turning him or her off big time. Think about it: it’s kind of hard to get turned on by someone who basically thinks you’re an idiot. Of course, you don’t mean to convey such an impression to your partner. That would be cruel, right? And yet, many people allow micromanagement to seep into their relationship and sour things between themselves and their partner. We all recognize micromanagement. If you’ve been in the work force for any length of time, odds are good that you’ve worked for a micromanager. You are given tasks to do, which become your responsibility. You know what to do and how to do it, and yet… You find your micromanager hovering over you, asking questions about your progress, the way you’re doing things, how much time you’re taking. Basically, leaving little doubt in your mind that this person does not trust you to do the job. So you want to shout, “Back off! I know what I’m doing, and I could do what I need to do if you’d give me some space to breathe!” But of course, you don’t, because you like your job and want to keep it. However, inside you are feeling pressured, and self-doubt is beginning to creep in: do I really know what I’m doing? All in all, your experience with a micromanager does not feel good. You don’t feel positive and upbeat. Instead, you feel broken and worn down. So let’s look at micromanagement in the context of your relationship. Oops… Someone Left the Door Open for Micromanagement… Let’s say your partner takes on a particular responsibility in your relationship. It could be something as simple as mowing the lawn or loading up the dishwasher. Whatever it is, it’s their gig, right? But someone who falls into the trap of micromanaging others can’t seem to let go of the idea that the way things are done should resemble exactly how they themselves would do it: all other ways are just dead wrong. So, if your partner is handling the task, but is not doing it the way you would do it, or is taking too long to do it, they’re not doing it “right” in your mind because you’ve created a picture that is all black and white: it should be your way, or it’s the wrong way. You criticize their technique, methodology and thought process. Then, you tell them in exquisite detail how they should be doing it. Your partner stands there before you, feeling like a child who is being chastised. Turn off. If you are guilty of micromanaging your partner’s methods of accomplishing things, you can make it stop—there is hope. Here’s how: Tip #1: If It’s Theirs, Let It Go There’s a saying that if you want something done right, then do it yourself. Kind of harsh, isn’t it? The idea you may want to employ instead is, if it’s not my responsibility to handle, trust that my partner can handle it just fine. If it’s that important to you, whatever the task may be, then don’t give up responsibility for it and handle it yourself. Pick your battles, right? Tip #2: When You Feel the Urge to Criticize, Flip It Oh, it’s on the tip of your tongue: you want to make a comment about your partner’s clothing choices, or the way your partner has done their hair, or the way they trimmed the hedges… you want to give some “helpful” advice on a “better” way to do things… Don’t do it. Instead, when you feel that urge to make a “how to do it better” comment, look for something else your partner has done that you can compliment and praise. Think for a moment what that will do: you can take a situation that would have been a total turn-off if you’d uttered those micromanaging words, and instead turned it into a turn-on because you are lavishing some positive feedback on your partner. In effect, you will draw your partner closer and ultimately, that is more important than doing things the “right” way. Accept that there is more than one way to do things, and let it go. My best to you in removing those micromanaging tendencies from your relationship. Do you have a tendency to micromanage? If so, what is the worst that can happen if it’s not done your way? Are there any responsibilities you may take back to make sure they’re done to your satisfaction? Will this improve your relationship? Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Oct 2013 01:40:51 +0000
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