Good day followers, It has been a while since Ive updated you all on how things have been going! Im losing followers left and right which I dont blame anyone for. I have neglected this page since quitting Beachbody this summer because promoting myself and my business was the main reason I created this page. With no business to promote, I have less things to write about! I can update you all on whats been going on in my life but it isnt pretty. In October, after our third cycle of IVF and the embryo transfer we did on Thanksgiving (Im Canadian, remember lol), I received a positive pregnancy test. A lot of them actually. I didnt believe that I had finally gotten pregnant so we blew money on tests - dollar store tests, +/- tests, digital tests which all showed me I was pregnant! A beta blood test confirmed this but my HCG levels were low. The day of my first blood test, I began bleeding. And continued to bleed for days. My doctors kept sending me for blood work and my HCG numbers were rising, slowly but surely. Until one day they stopped. I went from a 522 hcg reading to 98. And then that was it. It was over. I still am waiting for a call from the clinic to talk about what happened (its been over 2 weeks now) but Im assuming it was a chemical pregnancy ( really early miscarriage). As you can imagine, we were crushed. Ever since, I havent been in the greatest of places. Im exhausted. I have no determination to do any of my school work. I submitted a poorly done assignment (not like me at all) that I threw together the morning it was due. Im quick to anger. Ive been emotional eating. I dont recognize myself physically or emotionally anymore. I find myself hoping Ill get sick so I can skip school and work and have an excuse for it. Not a fun way to live. Things are slowly getting better but tomorrow I am doing something I should have probably done 5 years ago after my hubbys truck accident. Im going to see a therapist. This is just for a quick 15 minute consult to see if shes the right person to help me but if all goes well, I will continue to see her. Im telling you this because Im a stigma buster. Im going to keep talking about our journey to conceive on here because so many couples struggle in silence. Whatever journey I may embark on starting tomorrow will be documented as well. I think theres so much more to being healthy than just maintaining a healthy weight and working out. True health is multifaceted and includes mental wellbeing as well. Too often we forget to take care of our psychological selves as the fitness industry tends to focus more on getting your sweat on and eating nutritionally. But I think being in a good place mentally is even more important. Without the framework of a strong and healthy mind, the work we put in to better ourselves through nutrition and exercise is often short lived. Thanks again for allowing me to share my journey with you all. I hope to be back to myself soon. 💖
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:59:25 +0000
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