Grace in the Storm (Part IV) Sunday, October 26, 1:00 AM After discussing who would accompany Bev in the ambulance, we decided Micki should be the one. She’s a dear friend. She’s a nurse. She understand everything from a medical perspective and could relay the information to us. Knowing UC was a 2 hour drive, Micki encouraged us to go home and try to get a little sleep before coming to UC in the morning. We agreed. Once Bev was stable and the ambulance departed, Jer and Cass, and Matt and Anna headed to their homes. I climbed in my car and headed to the house. 4:00AM I couldn’t sleep. I had been tossing back and forth, completely unsettled in our bed. I received a text from Micki informing me that they were at UC and Bev was being settled into a room. Micki was waiting for the nursing staff to come and get her. A sense of peace came over me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 5:15AM I awoke to my home phone ringing. I answered. Micki informed me that Bev had taken a turn for the worse. She had been moved to ICU and the doctor wanted to talk to me. She handed her phone to him. “Mr. Clark, your wife is going to require immediate medical attention. We anticipate she may have difficulty breathing and we need permission to put a tube in to help her breathe if necessary. Do we have your permission?” I was really taken back. “A tube? Are you going to put her on the respirator?” The doctor calmly replied, “That is certainly a possibility. Your wife is critical and we need to be prepared to help her.” Once I gave him the permission he was seeking, he added, “Mr. Clark, I don’t want you to rush and risk your own safety, but I think it would be a good idea for you to begin making your way to the hospital.” The doctor handed the phone back to Micki. She told me how Bev had been stable when they arrived at UC but had suddenly taken a very bad turn for the worse. I told her I would be there as soon as possible. Hanging up, I called Jer and informed him. He and Cassie would come to the house and we would travel together. None of us had really had any sleep to amount to anything which would make driving alone too risky. I called Anna and informed her. She and Matt would head to Cincinnati from their house. I called Jon, who was at the hospital in northern Cincinnati with Becky and their newborn Cora Mae. Jon headed to the UC Medical Center almost immediately. 8:00AM The GPS leads us to an alley next to the UC Medical Center. I was so anxious to get into the hospital and get to Bev’s side, but it looked like we’re at a dead end with no main entrance in sight. I told Jeremy to drop me off, I would look for a way in while he and Cass went to park the car. I found a couple of doors, but they were locked. Just as I decided to take off running around the corner to find the entrance, a man suddenly showed up. “May I help you?” he asked. “I’m trying to find a way into the hospital,” I said in frustration. “ My wife has been taken to ICU and I need to get to her.” The man simply said, “Follow me. I’ll take you there.” Within 5 minutes, I was standing in the ICU Waiting Area with Micki and Jon. Micki informed me that they were working on Bev and that they would come get us when they were finished. After about 10 minutes, Jer and Cass arrived from the Parking Garage. 30 minutes later, Anna and Matt arrived. 9:00AM An ICU nurse came to meet us in the Waiting Room. “If you’re ready, you all can follow me to the room.” We wound our way through the ICU unit. As we turned the corner to the Bev’s room, there were 10-15 doctors, nurses and techs standing around Bev’s bed. I looked in. She was unconscious. The respirator was working for her. Tubes draped her body. IV bags were hanging on both sides of the bed. Two people were manning the defibrillator while a nurse was checking Bev’s blood pressure. It was too much to handle. All I could do was weep. The concern expressed on my children’s faces and their spouses faces turned to tears as they caught sight of their mom. One of the doctors stepped from Bev’s room. “Mr. Clark, we have been working on your wife for some time. Her heart recently stopped and we were able to get it started again. However, her heart is preparing to stop again. That’s why we are all here. We are ready to do whatever is necessary to get it started again. But if we succeed, it will stop again in a short amount of time. So we need to know what you want us to do.” My soul was pierced through. My children’s souls were pierced as well. There was such deep agony. It was so thick. The heaviness of death…so unexpected…was everywhere. “Doctor, is there any hope?” I asked. “Is there any chance that she can pull through this?” The doctor kindly said, “I can’t answer that question. I can tell you your wife is very, very critical and we need you to make a decision.” I looked at my children. I looked at Micki. I don’t even have the words to describe the depth of sorrow or the cold reality we were facing. I simply said to the doctor, “Bev wouldn’t want this. We’ve talked about this. She would rather be with Jesus than endure this.” 9:15 AM Once I had informed the doctor that Bev would want to be with Jesus, the entire medical team took a step back from Bev’s bed and exited quietly out of the room. A nurse stepped toward me and said, “Mr. Clark, come here by your wife’s side.” She took me by the arm and led me next to Bev. My children and their spouses gathered around the bed. We were an emotional mess. Frustration, hurt, questions and love expressed through sobs and groans. I bent over and kissed Bev on the forehead. I ran my fingers through her hair and whispered in her ear, “Bev…I think it’s time for you to go be with Jesus. Go. Run to Him. And when you get there, you’re going to see your mom (Bev’s mom had died just 4 weeks earlier). And Bev…when you see my mom and dad, tell them I love them and that I’ll be along some day.” (The story of God’s grace in the storm will continue in my next post)
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:29:49 +0000
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