Gratitude, Day 6 - December 1 My music. After hanging around with these fun people for a while, a turmoil was brewing within me...these people were just having a good time. I wanted to be part of it, to experience it as an active member...but I cannot do it. Oh well, I can do a lot of things that most of my musician friends cant, besides, top that with my motor issues and now MS, just be happy that you can enjoy watching others play... You know, my parents didnt accept the limitations that so-called professionals thought I should have, why was I accepting them? Because Im a klutz, thats why. Not everyone can play music, right? Some people are destined to be listeners, right? February 4, 2011, the open mic at Biggby Coffee Madison Heights, MI was a life changing experience, specifically this song. They ad-libbed this, no practice session, it just happened. Larry Maykowski on guitar, Terry R Altman on piano, Brian Kozlowski on the button box accordion and Rob Schneider on drum...and as I sat entranced watching this, I said to myself, Youre 51 years old. You arent getting younger and you have two choices - learn how to play an instrument and get up on stage, or spend the rest of your miserable life wishing you had. But what? I have no coordination, I cant keep straight time on a drum, music is a mystery, what the hell is a chord? Someone (and I really wish I could remember who) suggested, Why dont you try an Autoharp? Hmmm...played with one a little when I was in special ed back around 1970, and I actually played usable music. Well, it might be something to learn on... Checked out YouTube...found videos by Jo Ann Smith, Ryan Carr and others...it looked pretty simple - and most importantly, foolproof - even a musical dunce like me could probably make it work. And found out something I didnt expect - it could be a beautiful sounding instrument in its own right! I could start with it - but I didnt have to abandon it later! I looked on ebay for something that looked complete at a price I could afford. If this ended up being a lost cause, I didnt want to have a big investment in something I couldnt even play. So I bought a 23 string, 5 chord model for $17. Got it, got a tuner, and set about looking for songs I knew that used the chords this box had. Found some songs Id known for years, so all I needed to do was learn the music and Id be all set, right? For those of you who are non-musicians, let me let you in on a little secret that nobody warned me about. You can play an instrument. You can sing. But singing while playing that instrument is a different matter entirely! I made my first appearance on stage at Steve Bronsons open mic...I gave crash and burn a whole new meaning that night! As I started playing - and falling apart - badly - my thought was at least I tried. How can I ever face these people again? Inside I was virtually in tears, what a jackass I was making out of myself! I fully expected to be told, Uh, give it up, youll never be any good, you dont have what it takes. That is what I fully expected. The biggest part of my gratitude for this? I got applause. At the end, some people DID come up to me. But the message was not give it up, youll never amount to anything. What several people told me that night was something I never expected - Dont give up! Tonight you did something that most people will never have the guts to do - get up on stage, alone, in front of an audience and play. Not a one of us was good when we first started, to get on stage after playing less than two months from nothing takes a special level of courage. Keep practicing and never give up! Tomorrow - gratitude for not giving up, even when I wanted to...
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 05:16:40 +0000
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