HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET MOTHER + WARRI PALAVA: You Go Laff Tire - EPISODE 15 Hello my sweetest bobos and sisis. How una dey? Today is my sweet mothers birthday. Yaaaayyy!!! A BIG THANK YOU to EVERYONE who sent wonderful birthday wishes to my mum and to all that called her. Shes really GRATEFUL. Thanks ONCE AGAIN. My mama kan dey feel like CELEB today!!! You wanna wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY? Itz not too late....Send your birthday wishes to 08100116926. It will only cost you N4 PERE....e no too much na. Shell so much appreciate it. Thanks very much. Well, here is the continuation of the biggest comedy series ever written. For those of you wey miss previous episodes, get them ------>>> HERE. Welcome to the 15th episode: My feet began to ache me and I became all sweaty and lagged out, then suddenly out of utter frustration I squatted as if I wanted to take a dip and just took the wallet from under my sweaty feet, but to my surprise all eyes at the market darted towards my direction, it was as if they had been alerted that the wallet had been found. I became dumbfounded and out of wit so I had my brain do a quick sketch of what to say to the woman who owned the purse. As she approached me and before she could utter a word out i quickly cut her short by saying: Madam I don help you see your wallet in fact na Holy Spirit direct me come where I take see am. My plan had been foiled, wallet wey be say I don budget how I go take spend the money wey dey inside. The woman collected the wallet and gave me a pat on my back, I wasn’t really expecting a pat coz I was expecting her to extend some money to me as a token of thanks for helping her locate her wallet but the stingy woman no gree gimme shingbai, na then I know sey people wicked oh. I kept cursing the woman for my mind cuz wetin she do me pain me for body like mad, I kept telling myself of how callous and insensitive she was but I just had to let the moment with the wallet sail through because if I think am too much my brain fit lock down. But wetin kan pain me pass na the stand wey I stand on top the wallet. Na so I begin to waka again with the usual hope sey I go see something wey I go chop for that day. But while I was walking, na so I jam one sign post with a vacancy listing for a teacher, and right behind the vacancy post I could see the said school, the building of the school was the tattered sort with planks serving as the window planes and a painted wall serving as the chalk board. I told myself I could apply for the job after all na small small pikins I go dey teach. So the next day I applied and I got the job, they didn’t even ask for my credentials or anything relating to it. I was told to resume for work the next day, since I had nothing I could wear to work, na so I select one random backyard and just took a fitted shirt and trouser from the the rope wey dem spread their cloth on top and I zoomed off before I could get caught. The next day I was assigned to teach Nursery two and half and when I asked why they called the class Nursery two and half, dem talk sey na those dry heads wey no gree promote from from nursery two to three dey the class . As I enter the class, fear catch me coz the dry headed kids wey dey the class enter seventy something and they had all placed their feeding flasks and water bottles at a precise angle in the stuffed up class, I quickly did a head count of their food flasks and it tallied with the number of kids in the class, na then I know say I don enter food paradise coz those food flasks just dey eye me. It was exactly three days ago since I ate my last meal so the food flasks of the kids gave me the needed assurance that I was going to be filled up today, though I tried to resist the temptation offered by those food flasks but the thought weighed heavily on me so I couldn’t resist the temptation. The bell for the short break rang, so I quickly ordered the kids out of the class and told them to leave their food flasks behind. When I see sey all of them don commot for class finish, I bolted the entrance to the class, I went to each and every food flask and took a fair amount of food from them all, as I dey chop yam na so I dey chop rice and indomie and so many others. I ate to my fill and after that I went outside to call the kids back inside the class, they hardly noticed that there food had been touched. These puny little kids just made my day and I sure hope they will continue to do so. The next day I began to nurture the hope of another food flask feast and this time around I wasnt gonna go soft on them coz today am going to scoop a sizeable amount from each food flask. You fit call am ojukokoro but I no send, after all man must wack now. The much awaited break came, but this time around there was no way I could order the kids out without raising any suspicion, but I still had to chase them out and all I needed was a firm excuse to do so and na then my brain click and an idea popped in. I instructed the kids to stand up and sing/chant the Lords grace before eating from their various food flasks, with their melodious, incoherent and yet shaky voice they all chanted it in the most annoying way ever. Lemme give you guys an outline of how dem take sing am: Awa okada woo art in heaven Adaobi thy name As shikin don come.... Before they could finish the third line of the Lords Grace I instructed them to shut up coz if na so Bible write am Christianity no go dey where e dey today but I don forget sey na Warri I dey and that might be their own version of the Lords Grace. Now I had a firm excuse to chase all of them out of the class, since they couldnt sing the Lords Grace. I disbanded them all and dismissed them out of the class. I locked the door leading to the classroom and bounced on their food flasks, come see me as I dey chop beans na so I dey wack rice, as I dey eat macaroni na so I dey push am down with bread, before I knew it I had finish all the food wey dey their food flasks. No be so I take plan am ooo coz I had the intention of just eating a fair and yet unnoticeable amount from each food flask but now Ive wiped out everything clean, na then I know say I don die coz how I wan take explain how all their food disappear? ...to be continued!LEVELS CARES!!! Stay glued for more and please drop your comments. Written by: ADEBAYO JAMIU BABATUNDE {LEVELS} BB PIN: 29BB57A4
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 18:08:34 +0000
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