HOW TO AVOID QUARRELING WITH YOUR BUSY BOYFRIEND By John Micheals. When one person in the relationship is much busier than the other, that can put a huge strain on your relationship. You might be in different life situations, one where your boyfriend has a lot of stuff going on and you have a lighter schedule and want to spend your spare time with him. Heres how to handle that difference in a way that sustains your relationship, rather than damages it. NO. 1: KNOWING HIS SCHEDULE Find out your boyfriends schedule. This will let you know when he is truly free and when he needs to be left alone to get on with things. NO. 2: WORK OUT WHEN HIS SCHEDULE CAN ACCOMMODATE YOUR CALLS OR PRESENCE. This isnt just about guesswork; use your common sense, as well as asking him directly about when he doesnt like to be bothered. Think of reasonable times when hell be most likely to answer your call. If he has to get up early in the morning, call him early in the night before he goes to sleep instead of holding him up first thing. NO. 3: AVOID PRYING When asking him about his schedule, let him know that its so that you know when not to bother him. However, if he doesnt want to tell you what hes doing every second of the day, avoid an inquisition. He is entitled to some free time without you having to know about it! (Equally, so are you.) NO. 4. TRUSTING HIM 1. DEAL WITH YOUR OWN INSECURITIES. If one of the reasons you find yourself unable to stop calling or texting him, or even turning up unannounced, is that you dont trust him, its time to face your insecure behavior. Ask yourself where this insecurity comes from and whether he has actually done anything to earn your distrust. If this lack of trust is all coming from you, seek to deal with the reasons you feel so insecure. If you dont, hell end up feeling smothered. 2. Respect his free time. Accept that his family and other friends are also important to him and that he must spend time with them as well. Youll gain much more respect by being easygoing and flexible than you will by being demanding and monopolizing his free time. NO. 5. MINIMIZING BOTHERSOME CONTACT 1. Minimize contact when its likely to bother your boyfriend. Once you know what hes doing, realize that he doesnt need your constant phone calling or texting to interrupt him. 2. Give him a break. Maybe pick one day and one time to call him; if he says that hell call you, trust him. Give him a chance to call you! Giving him the space is important, especially before he decides that youre too needy. 3. Propose a scheduled time to speak together. For example, maybe late evenings before bed, at the airport, on his way home, etc. 4. See how long you can go without calling him. If you call about four times a day, see if you can go four hours without calling, then four more, then four more––can you go four days? NO. 6: BE AS BUSY AS HE IS 1. Prove to yourself that you dont need someone 24/7! Hes got priorities, so get some of your own. The world and your happiness shouldnt revolve around him. Pining away over a boy is not attractive. Dont freak out if he doesnt call you 10 times a day. 2. Keep yourself busy doing things you need to do. Dont say that there isnt anything to do because there is always something that needs to be done! Clean up and do your laundry, clean your closet, read books, spend time with family, get a hobby, do a project youve been meaning to get done, exercise, watch a movie, get any studying done, learn a new language, write a novel, etc. There is no excuse for pining away! NO. 7: SOME TYPICAL CHALLENGES 1. Avoid making negative interpretations when theres nothing to it. Dont confuse his being busy with a passive-aggressive put off. If he is making time for you in his busy schedule somewhere, that should comfort you as it means he values you and makes the time. 2. Set aside your worried thoughts and revel in whats good about the relationship. Realize that most men find women who are in control of their own lives and independent make for a good match. Get out there and live your own life. When he does call you, both have something interesting to contribute to the conversation. Dont interrogate him on why he was late calling or why he couldnt call for several days. Instead, see the previous step about creating a calling calendar. 3. Accept that certain relationships just dont work out. You may be happier in the long run with someone else who is more sensitive to your particular needs. You cant change someone to become exactly who youre looking for and you will be unhappy if you end up marrying a person you thought you could change for the better. The behavior you see now is indicative of the future! I HOPE TO HEAR TESTIMONIES BY MONDAY THAT THIS ARTICLE HAS REPAIRED SOME RELATIONSHIPS. Enjoy your weekend Your friend, John Micheals.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 11:40:20 +0000