HOW TO REGAIN OR FIND CALMNESS. “When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on.” – LL Cool J, American actor, entrepreneur and actor (born 1968) We all know LL Cool J, if not from his rapper music background, certainly from his unflappable and capable character on the television show NCIS Los Angeles. Always succinct on TV, LL Cool J’s words above seem perfectly appropriate in the context of recovery. After all, who among us hasn’t experience more than our fair share of adversity? Indeed, it may sometimes seem as if our lives are filled with one form of adversity or another. We’d dearly love to find some calm amid the storm, right? What’s the secret to learning how to be calm, even in the face of adversity? It helps to have some practice doing just what the musician-turned-actor advises. But we can all do this. Think to how beneficial it is to leave a room when emotions get heated or we feel compelled to shout out something that we really don’t mean or want to say. It’s the same principle, albeit more proactive in nature. Here’s how it works. Everything comes tumbling down around us and we feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle the situation. What we really want to do is run in the opposite direction, getting as far away from the turmoil and tough issues as possible. Instead of skipping out, however, we decide to literally take a step back, to put on hold, temporarily, any immediate retort or ill-conceived course of action. We can tell ourselves whatever we like, that we’re biding our time, weighing our options, considering the best choices – it all adds up to taking a more measured and rational approach to dealing with the unexpected adversity. Granted, it’s tough to do this – basically stall for time – while everything around us is in a muddle. People may be clamoring for our decision, wanting answers and demanding them now. It takes a certain kind of fortitude to insist on the necessary time to think things out. We can use the rather persuasive argument that we want to make the right decision, the one that is best for all concerned – ourselves included – and this is actually right on the mark. Another benefit of stepping back is that we remind ourselves that, by doing so, we are remaining strong. This is essential in our being able to build up our sense of self-confidence in being able to handle unexpected situations, especially those that have potential long-term implications and effects. Keeping our feet firmly planted where we are is an excellent way to stay grounded, literally and figuratively. Rather than search for pie-in-the-sky answers or a quick solution to what are often complex problems, we choose to explore the wealth of different possible choices available to us. But there does come a time when we do need to make a decision, to take action and get past the adversity. Often, it’s this careful and deliberate approach that results in the most beneficial and wise course of action. Best of all, once we train ourselves to think first before we act, we are putting into practice a healthy way of coping with adversity, one that will stand us in good stead in just about anything we may experience in the future. ~iPromises~ Jen
Posted on: Thu, 25 Jul 2013 12:12:52 +0000
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