Had an unusual dream last night. In the dream I was managing or manipulating a matrix or grid of sorts. The elements of the grid were each prepared and optimally set up to produce something -- flowers maybe, I dont recall exactly what -- and at first, the closest elements all produced. The longer time went on, the further out the production started, but the further the production reached, the slower it started and the more non-producing elements appeared. I felt a great deal of anxiety over the non-producing elements, not because they werent producing , PER SE, but because there was nothing more I could do to improve the conditions or increase the odds that they might start producing. My anxiety was that I was not good enough to be doing this or not smart enough to solve the mystery of why they were not producing. Thats enough material to delve into my psyche, but theres more! I *knew* that I was dreaming and, in the dream, tried (successfully) to shift the dream to something else. While the surroundings and people and story-line of the dream changed, the field or matrix or grid or whatever it was followed into the new dreamscape, and so did the non-producing elements, and so did the anxiety. Finally, ALMOST in fear that I would never be able escape this unbearable burden of failed responsibility, I forced myself to wake up. It was 1 AM. I lay there, awake now, unable to go back to sleep. Finally, I gave up trying, turned on the light, opened up the laptop and played online Poker and visited Facebook for **5** hours! At last, at 6 AM, I was finally exhausted enough to put the computer away and go back to sleep. Ugh!
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:32:23 +0000
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