Happy 20th Meeting Anniversary Wendy 20 years ago. I was just getting dressed to go out for my 22nd birthday which I planned to celebrate after midnight. Silk shirt, smart chinos, polished shoes, little bit of hair gel, brushed teeth. It was cold so I had a black tea shirt with a white phoenix on it, under my shirt. A carry over from my earlier gothic misery years. Three months earlier, my amway and life mentors Joe and Lynne, had told me to write my goals down and be the best you, you can be so naively I did both. One goal I wrote down was to meet a beautiful, caring like minded woman to share life and grow together. Every Friday or Saturday (or both) I would go out, get a bit drunk, be sick and exhausted on the Sunday. Go to work on the Monday talking about who was most sick, who drunk the most, who didnt turn up and what an amazing night they missed. Could tonight, my birthday night, be the night? A new chance for me to finally turn my life around perhaps? If only there was a fairy godmother or a magic wand I mused, something that would allow people to see the real me, people who would give me a chance, something that would allow me to be the real me. Anyway dont give up Phil, Id tell myself, keep smiling outwardly Phil, listen, talk, use the people skills my mentors taught me to. If you ever get lost for words remember to stay on FORM (ask and talk about Family, Occupation, Recreation and any Message about yourself you want to add). I was young, hungry, ready, I wanted to settle down, I wanted companionship, a family a successful life, I wanted to break free of my own limitations, to build my confidence, but I didnt know how. I didnt give up, I kept trying to meet that someone, to sort my life out and get better. I met up with a few friends including Glyn and with my sister Sue we were there, ready to party at TOTS Disco in Southend on Sea. As we were about to enter, I suddenly changed my mind, I said No, I dont fancy this, lets go to Churchills instead. Was it fate? The law of attraction, serendipity or perhaps just a vague memory of when I had fallen flat on my face totally drunk at that venue, as only a youngster who hasnt learnt their limits can be? Anyway, we went to Churchills and when we got there Sue started chatting to a friend called Jenny she bumped into and next to Jenny was her friend. Wow a beautiful girl with long blonde curly hair and a clingy but understated black and grey striped dress. Our eyes met, trying to appear confident and successful I said Hello, what do you do for a living, she told me that her name was Wendy and that she worked as a dispenser of medicines in boots. I pretended to be interested in boots and medicines, when really I was besotted with her hair and her beautiful eyes. I was literally counting the seconds, taking mind photographs, until she walked away (which was what usually happened). But Wendy didnt walk away, she appeared interested when I told her that I had my own sales and marketing business. I went on to explain that it was my birthday, we were the same age, I was just 6 months older. She kept talking, she didnt walk away, what this is not happening surely! Wow, we danced a little, then we ate garlic bread which the staff passed around the wine bar (funny idea I know). But the connection grew. We stayed together all evening, had a fun time, danced to slow songs, fast songs, Cotton Eye Joe, whatever, this was some sort of fantasy miracle evening. Pinch me I thought, how long can it last? Our friends went home, but Wendy, myself Sue and Glyn, walked 20 mins to Glyns flat for more drink and I think a Trivial Pursuit game or scrabble was promised. We walked in the cold and drizzle, I took off my phoenix t shirt from under my smart silk shirt, so that Wendy could put it on her head in the rain. I didnt care, I didnt feel cold, I didnt feel wet, I felt alive. Wendy gave me hope and optimism. We met every day from that night onwards. We wanted to spend as much time with each other, we became a couple and moved in together. For the first few months of our relationship, I thought, every day is incredible, it is wonderful, but I dont deserve this happiness, it won’t last, make the most of it. She wont stay, dont get too attached Wendy would say the magic words I love you and I would reply with them, but I didnt really quite believe it. I didnt believe that I could deserve such a gorgeous girl, I didnt think that I deserved such a connection, I didnt think I deserved happiness. I had been hurt before, I had been betrayed before, I had been let down before and for some reason I kept projecting that forwards and expecting it again. Surely it is only a matter of time before she meets someone better. We moved in together and it took me about 6 months more before I let myself properly fall in love. I was scared and nervous inside, but outside I pretended, taking each day at a time. Eventually I began to believe. Well we got engaged, we had 5 beautiful daughters, we had a dream wedding, we became successful in business at a young age and full time parents to all 5 of our girls. We named our first daughter Hope, leaving the past in the past where it belongs. The past did stay in the past, the darkness is like a previous life. Meeting you Wendy was really you in your generous and giving way, opening the door to another world. We held each others hand and closed the door on the world we left behind. This world is unrecognisable, it is so different. My life is a joy now with you. Oh what would my life be like without you? Well if I occasionally want to know, I look back through the keyhole, but I cant see much or for very long, before my new happy life calls me. Wendy I love you, you are my HAPPILY EVER AFTER x
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 21:30:19 +0000