Having a parent that listens creates a child who believes he or she has a voice that matters in this world. And when you believe your voice matters, you have the strength to say, “Let me out of the car,” when you feel like you are in a dangerous situation. When you believe your voice matters, you have the courage to say no to harmful substances that can affect your ability to make decisions and prematurely end your life. When you believe your voice matters, you have the bravery to admit you made a mistake and will use that experience to learn, grow, and do better next time. When you believe your voice matters, you have the confidence to write down your most difficult truths and publish them in a book so someone else doesn’t feel alone in his or her struggles. In these moments I could have suffered in silence, but instead I spoke up. Why? Because my dad listened to me as I grew. And what this means is there is hope, great hope, for anyone struggling today. My friends, perfection is not expected on this parenting journey. You will have days when you are dealing with heavy, soul-crushing issues. You will have days when nothing you do seems to be good enough. You will have days when smiles don’t come easily and harsh words are spoken too quickly. You will have days when you can only do the basics and nothing more. On those days, I urge you not to say things like, “I am a failure,“ or “I am a bad parent.” Instead, I urge you to garner the strength, the patience, the resolve to do one thing … just one thing. Listen. Listen when she wants to tell you the (many) reasons she chose the pink shoes instead of the red ones. Listen when he tells you (in agonizing detail) how he built his giant Lego skyscraper. Listen when she tells you how that pesky ant made that (barely visible) mark on her arm. Listen when he confesses he is struggling in Mr. Johnson’s pre-algebra class. Listen when she reveals her fear of being bullied on the bus. Listen when he admits you are his only hope. Listen with your eyes, ears, and heart. They know. They know when you are listening. And it matters; it really matters. Because someday our children will find themselves in a difficult situation and they’ll have a choice—either to suffer in silence or speak up. And perhaps that is the moment they will remember your eyes, the nodding of your head, your thoughtful response. And suddenly they will be reminded that their voice holds value. And when you believe your voice holds value … well, let’s just say, that belief can make a life changing difference."-excerpt
Posted on: Wed, 07 Aug 2013 23:39:08 +0000
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