Having a witness in Charlie Roberts to the fact we survived an inflatable canoe attack by one about this size while on honeymoon in 2004 on the Zambezi near Livingstone, Ill say heart beating a bit faster is the least of your worries; Our banana yellow canoe was bitten out from under the ass of my husband of just 3 weeks! He swan for another canoe and the guide got him into their boat, and as relieved as I was, I realised I was sitting up to-my-not-inconsiderably-large-tits in a partially inflated (but rapidly-deflating) yellow mush that was not going to be under and around me much longer...and I very much doubted it would stop a croc attack! During the eventual transfer of my fat ass (some 2 minutes/or a lifetime later!) into the other canoe (a somewhat undignified spla-dooosh of an affair that saw me up to my neck in espresso-coloured riverwater as the two boats drifted apart) I recall thinking the skinny-assed guide was a) never going to be able to drag me OUT of the water and b) if it came to him or me - hed be missed, but Fat Albert the croc needed to eat too - just not me! We recovered the canoe some time later from our new canoes and found several large rents in the undeside; starting at around 20 cms apart and growing in an arc! It was the first and only time I wanted to kill an animal in Africa... Beating heart? Yeah, and my ****** was almost as twitchy as my trigger finger!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 11:00:24 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015