Heartless – Part II It wasn’t long after posting “Heartless” that the following words came to mind. Please take a minute to read that post before continuing. These thoughts are based on this question from that post. “How can someone we shared love with turn around and be so heartless?” Hardened Heart: “But The Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as The Lord had said to Moses” Exodus 9:12 (NIV). God hardened Pharaoh’s heart because He wanted to make it more challenging for the Israelites to get released from Egypt. This accomplished a few things to include allowing God to demonstrate His awesome powers, letting the Israelites (to include Moses and Aaron) know that they needed God to overcome those obstacles, and to make the Egyptians pay for enslaving the Israelites while keeping a hedge of protection around the Israelites. God may have hardened the person’s heart for His divine purpose. Loyalty: If someone else is in the picture (regardless of if they cheated, left you for someone else, or ended up in another relationship), it may be disrespectful to the new person to give you the time of day. And believe it or not, it is possible for someone to cheat on you, and then turn their back on you in an attempt to be loyal to the person they cheated/are cheating on you with… I’m cutting this one short. Temptation: The devil may have presented them with someone else who is so mesmerizing that you became “old news”. But oftentimes, the devil doesn’t give them someone better, they get someone different and that person may end up being able to offer less than what they received with you. The devil is famous for using the old “bait ‘n switch”. This is why some people are usually shocked to find out who their partner left them for. They may not know if they should feel sorry for themselves, or their former partner. Immaturity: If you had an amicable breakup, or they left you, but they can’t maintain a friendship or open lines of communications it may be a sign of immaturity. It doesn’t make sense to me when I hear about people breaking up but they can’t be “just friends” because it is too hard. If that’s the case, “Why did you break up in the first place?” This brings up another point. If breaking up was a mistake, some people would much rather live with the mistake versus acknowledging that error in judgment and try to give it another shot or be friends; especially if they started off as friends anyhow. Pride: The above is a perfect segue into the issue of having too much pride. This is when a person would much rather live with a mistake versus admitting to it, and then try to make things better. They sacrifice happiness for the empty feeling of pride. This is why Daniel said the following about King Nebuchadnezzar, “But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory” Daniel 5:20 (NIV). I’m cutting this short too but I close this section with the following: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” Proverbs 11:2 (NIV). Escape Plan: This is a tough one to swallow when you realize the person you gave your heart to never really gave you theirs in return. They may not have felt like it was a game but it was because they were always looking for an escape route. If they were never fully committed to the relationship then it’s easy for them to move out/on. But if you were all in and never saw it coming then you may have gotten a rude awakening. And once you were enlightened, you may have thought that fighting for the person would help. But you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, and you shouldn’t fight to keep someone who doesn’t want to be yours. If you loved the person to the best of your ability and that wasn’t good enough, or was too good, then let them go. Scared: A person may simply be afraid of being hurt (especially if they have been hurt before), or may believe that what they have is too good to be true (and they may not deserve it or know how to handle it), so they push others away as a defense mechanism. A heartbreak is usually easier when you are the one who does the heartbreaking. However, it is like using a bat to hit a piece of steel – the steel is going to get hit, the bat is going to get damaged, and the person with the bat is at least going to get a jolt. So while running scared may seem to help prevent causing damage, everything is going to get damaged in the process. There’s a reason why we call it “falling in love”. We have to release our fears and allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to fall in love. A person who keeps on the run only leaves a trail of broken hearts and missed opportunities to experience the beauty of what love has to offer. Hybrid: I use this term because in some cases you will see pieces of the things I previously discussed. For example, you may have an immature person who was scared so they always looked for the first opportunity to run because they were afraid. You may have even gotten to the point where you felt like you had overcome all of those obstacles and you were home free until the next thing you know they are gone without a trace. Keep in mind that “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV). However, there’s a difference between guarding your heart and locking it up. Do not be afraid to keep giving your heart to someone who deserves it because “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty” Proverbs 11:24 (NIV). It’s hard to receive love if you won’t give love. If there’s something I missed, I welcome you opinions and feedback on “How can someone we shared love with turn around and be so heartless?”
Posted on: Sat, 12 Oct 2013 13:53:19 +0000
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