Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. - If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly. - If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you. - If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6. - If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. - If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. - If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. - If you are manic-depressive: It doesnt matter what number you press - no-one will answer. - If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696. - If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. - If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mothers maiden name. - If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. - If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. - If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. - If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. - If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 03:06:11 +0000
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