Here are some great Bible jokes you can share with your church, your Christian friends, and others throughout this EMBER MONTH. Q. How do you make Holy Water? A. Get regular water and boil the devil out of it. Q. Who was the greatest female businessperson in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. (profit) Q. Who is the shortest person in the Bible? A. Bildad the Shuhite (shoe-height). Nehimiah (Knee-high-miah) was a close second. Q. When was meat first mentioned in the Bible? A. When Noah took Ham into the ark. Q. How long did Cain hate his brother? A. As long as he was Abel. Q. At what time of day was Adam created? A. A little before Eve. Q. Why did God create man before woman? A. Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it. Q. Where is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible? A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply. Q. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark? A. Because they were using “fowl” language. Q: Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible? A: When God gave Moses two tablets. Q: How do we know that cars are in the New Testament? A: Because Jesus was a car-painter (carpenter)! Q: What’s the best way to study the Bible? A: You Luke into it. Q: How do we know that a lot of people in the Bible used fertilizer? A: Because they always said, “Lettuce spray.” (Let us pray). Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. He was Ruthless. Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest investor in the Bible? A. Noah: He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. (literally). Q. Which servant of God was the biggest lawbreaker (sinner) in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. (throwing the stone tablets) Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan the banks were always overflowing. Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep. Q. Which Bible character had no earthly parents besides Adam and Eve? A. Joshua, son of Nun. (None) Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Sep 2013 06:06:22 +0000
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