Here are some stories making headline news across Nigerias newspapers last week. 0. Obasanjo attends Jonathan’s niece’s wedding in Abuja. Meanwhile, some of you’ve blocked your friends on Facebook and Twitter over politics. How does that make you feel? 1. Nigerians will praise me after leaving office- Jonathan. We’ll even declare a public holiday, if thatll make you happy. In fact, if you agree to go on May 29, we can declare the next 130 something days left in your tenure public holidays. How about that? 2. We will expose the real Buhari -- Femi Fani-Kayode. Well be watching and waiting and monitoring the white things that go in and out of your nose. 3. I’ll expose failures of ex-heads of state – Jonathan. Man, I do not think this is a good idea. In case you don’t know, you’re running out of friends. Don’t antagonize your retirement buddies. 4. Don’t abandon my husband, Patience Jonathan begs voters. Oh! Mama Peace. Why will we do such a thing? It’s not as if he abandoned us. When we were attached in Chibok, he came and consoled us. When we were hungry, he gave us cassava bread. 5. I’ll defeat Boko Haram, says President Jonathan. We’ve no reason to doubt you, sir. But we just think it’ll be better if you go and chill in Otuoke. We can even rename that town Jonathansville. 6. MEND backs Buhari for Presidency. After Jonathan cleaned up the pollution & developed the creeks and built railways straight to the Mermaid homes. This is the thanks he gets? Unbelievable! 7. Okupe makes Jonathan look incompetent – Lai Muhammed. No way, Jose! Ill defend Okupe on this one. Have you ever listened to Jonathan speak? 8. Gov. Akpabio of Akwa Ibom state donates N10m to inmates. Smart guy! Just in case he ends up there, they will have a reason to be kind to him. 9. Presidency others to fuel cars, generators with N815.4m. If each of the 774 local govt. areas in Nigeria should spend that amount to fuel their cars and generators, editors at Vanguard newspapers won’t be able to add it up. 10. I’m coming up with anti-corruption plan — Jonathan. I will now pause for you to laugh. Don’t think that 6yrs after, stealing has suddenly become corruption. He’s saying so because Alamieyeseigha told him to say it- that voters like that kind of talk. 11. So Bishop David Oyedepo of the Winners Chapel wants to kill anyone who looks like Boko Haram. Now I know why Boko Haram wants to kill anyone who doesnt look like them. youtu.be/m_MUYKcTArY
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 12:04:35 +0000
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