Heres what I said at Caras Memorial. CARA’S MEMORIAL SPEACH Opening- Kenny Chesney probably said it right when he sang the song, “Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven.” The Chorus aptly says it, “Everybody want to go to Heaven; Nobody want to go…Now.” Cara knew she was going to Heaven when she died but she didn’t want to go…NOW! It was WAY too early from our perspective. Recommend Rabbi Kushner and Joni Tada- My friend Dave gave me this book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner. This book and some of Joni Eareckson Tada’s writing have helped me through Cara’s death. Rabbi Kushner’s son suffered terribly and eventually succumbed to progeria (a premature aging disease). Joni Tada is a Christian motivational speaker. She became a quadriplegic as a result of a diving accident and more recently had breast cancer. Writings from both authors come highly recommended. Our answer to “why”- I want to say up front that only God has the answers why Cara died at only 23. If the “why” of her death was a bull’s-eye, we can only hope to hit the outer edges of the target. We started asking questions of God very shortly after Cara’s Leukemia diagnosis. Why Cara? Why THIS family? We wrestled with “Why” and “How…do we react”. Throughout Cara’s illness and now death, we are resolved to encourage others AND ourselves to draw near to Christ. The other action item was for us to show people how to repent and trust Jesus for the very first time. King David’s grieves Absalom- Cara’s death hit family and friends so very hard. You know…IF she was mean, ugly and uncaring this would be a LOT easier but she was the exact opposite. It reminds me of Cara’s immediate family when I read what King David said about his beautiful son’s death- “The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: ‘O my son Absalom—my son, my son Absalom—if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!’” 2 Sam 18:33 I’ve heard Cara’s momma say that many times. If only He had taken me instead. Cara loved her “mama” & God comforts mama- I wanted to mention a humorous and heartbreaking story about Cara. I used to kid the girls that when they wanted their mom, they sounded like baby calves. You know…mahhhhm. Cara continued this until about the last month of her death. After that she endeared her mother with “Mama.” She loved her mama and now her mom is devastated. The Psalmist says- The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18. I encourage you to turn to Him in prayer and give him your heart to mend. God doesn’t WILLINGLY afflict but loves us- From God’s heart we read… “Though He causes grief, Yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. For he does not WILLINGLY bring affliction or grief to anyone.” - Lam 3:32-33 God is not a maniacal ogre that enjoys causing pain to people! He loves you! Nearly everyone knows the following beautiful passage about God’s love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 Talking about Heaven- Yes, God loves you nothing would please Him more than having you in Heaven with Him! Most of us look at Heaven as a place they hope they’ll go someday far off in the future. The problem is no one wants to talk about death. If you do bring it up in conversation, you’re about as popular as a porcupine in a balloon factory. When we raise our children we teach them about life and how to live. We teach them how to talk, walk, share their toys, eat their veggies all the way up to how to study and dancing and dating. As parents however we really don’t talk about death too much. I don’t think it crosses our mind. Our kids are supposed to outlast us! This is how our family was…probably just like yours. We were all so confident in God taking care of her through the many prayers offered on her behalf. We didn’t bring up the end of life much at all. IF we did bring it up, she wouldn’t continue the conversation. We all know the saying that there’s nothing certain but death and taxes. Well, whatever you believe about death and Heaven and Hell I know one thing we should all agree on. You and I are going to be DEAD a whole lot longer than we are ALIVE. Please let me share what Cara and I talked about and also what the Bible says about life after death. Goodness- I once told Cara that I thought she was one of the most moral people I knew. “She didn’t drink, didn’t smoke and didn’t go with boys who did.” I’m sure she wasn’t QUITE an angel but we never really worried about her. I told her that as far as I was concerned she was perfect but… I was comparing her to other people. God’s standard was quite different though. Here’s a passage I read to Cara. Now a certain ruler asked Him [Jesus], saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.” Luke 18:18-19 I think she was surprised that no one was “good.” I asked if she’d ever lied or stolen anything [regardless of value] or even used God’s name irreverently or as a cuss word [that’s called blasphemy]. She said that she had. I explained that those were only three of the 10 commandments and that I had broken all ten if not in word but in-deed. So, she was like the rest of the human race, not “good”. I told her that the penalty for breaking God’s law (the commandments) was an eternal death in Hell. All of us as humans put themselves in some sort of a scale and compare their goodness to people around them. They can always find a “worse sinner” than themselves. Cara stopped me right there and said this, “Oh, I know what you’re going to say! In church camp one summer they went through all that.” She let me continue. I explained that she [and all of us] have broken God’s law and Jesus paid our fine by dying on the cross for our sin. If we repent and trust that He died in our place God will forgive us and commute our death sentence. When we die Heaven (instead of Hell) will be our home. We are judged immediately after we die (Heb 9:27). There is no working our sins out after we die or second chances! I explained that NOW is the acceptable day of the Lord, NOW is the day of salvation according to according to 2 Cor 6:2. OKAY, Cara stopped me again [and got me off my proverbial soap box] and said, “Wait a minute, I’ve already done all that.” Well, that was it, the conversation ended! On the reverse side of your program (at the very bottom) you can click the link and see more detail about what we talked about. (needgod). Cara in Heaven- So, we know, without a doubt that according to God’s Word Cara is in Heaven! “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore.” Rev 22:14 WOW, no pain, no crying, no Leukemia. Cara IS cured! …and what is left after such a short life with a long fight? What are we to do? How then do WE live? Thorton Wilder’s Tapestry- Thorton Wilder in his book Eighth Day describes life as a grand tapestry. If we look at the “good side”, we see God’s beautiful, intricate and seamless masterpiece. When we look at the underside, see how the tapestry was made. We see a lot of frayed ends, some long and some very short. Some are tied together and some are loose. We see how broken and fragmented lives contribute to God’s great design. Every now and then we get a small peak at just the edge of the front of the tapestry but we certainly can’t see much of it. Ask God to show you His beautiful tapestry…His masterpiece. See if you can look at the “good side” instead of the underside. Glimpses of Heaven and Hell- Both my wife PeggySue and Joni Eareckson Tada look at “the why of suffering” like this. Imagine something beautiful in your mind. Maybe it’s a baby being born, a sunrise/sunset or perhaps a cute baby animal picture. …something that makes you aww or WOW! Maybe, just maybe it’s God showing you a bit of what Heaven will be like. God doesn’t physically transport you to Heaven but he gives you small glimpses. Perhaps there is a subconscious spiritual connection between Heaven and Earth that God creates. Imagine another moment when you see injustice, suffering, hate or disregard for humanity. This might be seeing someone like Cara getting chemo treatment, someone dying for lack of food or terrorists brutalize and kill innocents. This might be a glimpse of what Hell might be like. I think that God gives us a peak of Heaven and Hell so that we can say, “I certainly don’t want to go there and live like that! Or maybe this is Hell on Earth, I need to stay away from this!” I would hear Cara’s mom say to me on multiple occasions that Cara’s treatment was Hell. I think she was right! Treasure inside Cracked Pots- I’ve had a Bible verse that’s been my “go to verse” for over a year. It’s a rather obscure verse but it reminds me of Cara. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2 Cor 4:7 The jars of clay are literally just clay pots. This is our body and the treasure is mind, soul and personality [who we are]. The verse encourages us to break the outer clay pot to have our true inner self shine out. After all we’re all really Cracked Pots anyway aren’t we? I think you would agree that Cara had a beautiful “pot” wouldn’t you? She would put a little make up on and accessorize her “jar” and she was beautiful. But, IF you spent any time with her, you’d see that inner sweetness Cara had. She thought of others, smiled through the pain and wouldn’t complain despite her loneliness and trepidations. You see her pot was actually breaking down and deteriorating… you were seeing more of God. His power was coming through Cara. Today, I think Cara would encourage everyone to spend a little less time on decorating their jars of clay and focus on what’s on the inside. We need to spend more time building others up than trying to look good. We need to speak the truth instead of bending the truth to make us look better. We need to break our jars down and build others up. Bloomin’ Onion- I’m going to finish with an illustration. Has anyone gone to Outback Steakhouse and gotten a blooming onion? I normally don’t like onions but I did like the blooming onion. Maybe that’s because it’s 2300 calories and 134 grams of fat. While preparing for this day I came to the conclusion that we will never really have a definitive “why” bad things happen to good people or why Cara died so young. I think it the “why’s” come into light and peel away somewhat like the layers of a bloomin’ onion. We may eat a small piece of it then eat another piece later. Someone else may realize the impact of Cara’s life on them at another time (another slice of onion). Maybe a layer will be uncovered with the clinical trials or T-Cell Therapy Cara went through and we’ll understand more. The layers are stripped away until we get to the very center, the very core of why. This comes when we see God face to face in glory and all the why’s and what if’s will be answered and put to rest. “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” I Cor 13:12 I’m going to ask you this, if you’ve tasted a piece of the onion over the next several weeks, months or years…will you please share them with Cara’s family?
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 02:01:18 +0000
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