Hey Guys- In the words of Steven Covey, its important to begin with the end in mind. Let she clear about that here... What am I trying to help you accomplish today? The simple answer is this: GAIN CONTROL. We are not trying to gain control of other people or of all the circumstances or even all of the outcomes. Those things will take care of themselves as you gain control of the only thing you can ever control - yourself. As you do that, you will experience the things all of us desire in the integration of work and life. The irony is that most people are so caught up in trying to control the things they cannot control - other people, circumstances, or outcomes - that in the process they lose control of themselves. And here is the real paradox. It is only when you do take control of yourself that you will begin to have significant influence on those other things: people, circumstances, and outcomes. People in control of themselves do the most to influence everyone and everything around then to good ends, results, and profits. But they start with themselves, and that is the essence of boundaries. Before we get ahead of ourselves, lets get back to that desired outcome, the vision. What does that look like? What is it we are trying to accomplish by building good boundaries? How about this? What if... When you put your head on the pillow at night, you know that you moved the ball down the field that day, in the right game, and in ways that matter to you. You are where you are supposed to be, doing what you were made to do, accomplishing all that you are capable of. You feel good through it all, knowing that your professional life works well with the other things that are important to you: your family, your friendships, your avocations, your values, your passions, your health, and your spirituality. The two lives, work and the personal things you value, are not in conflict with each other, nor do they feel like two lives. Instead you feel like one person authentically living our different parts of yourself in an integrated fashion, not allowing any one part to become the whole,or to get in the way of the other parts. That is what it looks like to be full human - fully alive. Certainly that sounds good. But, do you think it is really possible? Before you write it off as impossibly idealistic, think about it. It had better be possible. The alternative does not sound good at all: You wake up dreading another day in which you will feel disengaged as you pour your time and energy into things that do not matter to you. You may or may not get results, and the process and most of the relationships will bring you down. You will feel demotivated and heavy when you think about what it ahead of you that day. The challenges, problem, and difficulties feel overwhelming, and you know they will somehow get the best of you, no matter what. You know you will feel drained, burned out, powerless, and passionless when you are done. At night you look back and realize you have missed another day of doing what you were made to do, and nothing you accomplished is really important to you. Through it all, you felt squeezed and conflicted about the choices you had to make between your work and personal life. You realize your work keeps you from having what you red and want in those personal areas that matter greatly to you. It seems like work, supposedly only a part of life, has infected the whole of life with its weightiness, and you are not sure what has happened or what to do about it. So tomorrow does not look a lot different than today. These two scenarios are admittedly extreme. Life is not an either-or proposition in which everything is either wonderful or miserable. We dont get to choose between being the person in the first scenario who pretty much has a perfect life or the person in the second scenario whose life is a disaster. In different seasons of life, there are typically elements of both scenarios at work. I am not trying to paint the picture of a perfect, rosy life with no problems. We all have good times and bad times, and life is not about having either good times or bad times. Those will always be with us. But there is another either-or choice we can make when it comes to how we will live the times that we do have, good or bad. The first scenario describes a proactive life with a purpose. While there may be hardships, losses and even times of poor results in various areas, life lives this was has an intentional direction to it, even when bad things happen. This person feels empowered to live and exert positive energy to accomplish effects that are in line with who he is and what he wants. The second scenario describes a life that is dictated to, where the one living it has little choice and even less control over the circumstances of his existence. In short, he feels more like a result than a cause - a victim if you will. And that gets us to the essence of the vision for what we are trying to accomplish here: YOU ARE A CAUSE, NOT A RESULT In other words, you will be empowered by your choices and your actions to bring about the results you want in your work life, as opposed to your work and your life bringing about its results on you. Cheers, Henry *Pages 21-23 from my book The One Life Solution
Posted on: Thu, 01 May 2014 18:49:55 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015