Hey hey hey, have you seen this thing?! I’m sure you probably have because like 9 million (slight exaggeration) of you have sent this to me. I mean I don’t want to offend anyone who wears this but, wait no I don’t give a crap. Here goes, 12 thoughts I have about the Willy Warmer. 1. Oh yeahhh, this totally makes sense. My husband’s always complaining to me that his balls are cold. Not. 2. I can just see myself the next time our knitting club meets. ME: What are you making? FRIEND: Some baby booties for my niece. You? ME: A sweater for my husband’s penis. 3. Honeyyyy, can you come in here and try this on so I can see how much more yarn I need to buy? 4. Awww shit, why did we have to open our nudist colony in Minnesota? Heyyy, I have an idea! 5. Turn it over and it’s a glove for someone who’s constantly giving the thumbs up. 6. Better yet, it doubles as the perfect glove for a hitchhiker. HITCHHIKER: Thank God you stopped, my penis is freeeezing since I’m wearing my Willy Warmer on my hand. Heyyy wait, where are you going?!!! 7. Oh Grandma, you knitted me a Willy Warmer. You shouldn’t have. No seriously, you REALLY shouldn’t have. 8. Does it have to be dry-cleaned? How much would they charge? Ummm, excuse me, but do you charge the same amount for all sweaters? Even teeny tiny penis sweaters? And for the record, I don’t mean that my penis is tiny. I just mean that relative to other sweaters, this sweater is tiny. Oh screw it, just charge whatever you charge. I just hope you can get the stain out. No, uhhh, I don’t know what it is. 9. Awww shit, you know if I accidentally wash and dry that thing, it’s gonna shrink up and my hubby’s gonna be all stoked saying shit like, “Look honey, I grew two inches!” 10. Here’s your sequel Weezer: If you want to destroy my Willy Warmer, woah-ah-woah-ah-woah, Hold this thread as I walk away. As I walk awayyy!!! 11. And speaking of growing, if you’re wearing it and you start growing… brrrrr, now just the tip of my peeper is cozy. 12. And the irony is if you wear the Willy Warmer, you look like a pussy. Click on the link and check this shit out.
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 01:43:59 +0000
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