Hi Friends, Quick sponsorship plea for you - As Im continually getting emails from fellow swimmers talking about how theyre up to 5 miles a week and have entered every open water swim this coming season, I thought it was high time I began my training in earnest. (Slash began my training.) I would like to point out that learning how to surf in Australia should definitely be counted towards my training however Im not sure the conditions in Byron Bay are representative of what Ill be confronted with in Dover. Ive always liked the Magnet having swum in multiple galas there as a child so wasnt dreading the session as much as I might one at Montem. Was having a great time, if breathing out ones arse can be considered great, when a charming lifeguard told me I had to move lanes as the swim club was in. Ive been a lifeguard. Ive also been a member of a swimming club. Yet this inconvenience managed to perturb me nonetheless however I cracked on and was over half way through the set when disaster struck. Blue hat lady got in my lane. Blue hat lady, or BHL, represents the scourge of the swimming society. Ive no doubt that this woman is a perfectly reasonable human being in every other life activity. Im sure she doesnt push over young children when in a supermarket as she clamours to get to the checkout. Equally Im sure she doesnt barge past coworkers when on her way to the coffee machine. But there is something about a swimming pool that reduces some people to their primal selves. They have an innate need to be in front. Regardless of their skill or speed. And so begin my swimming life lessons: 1. When swimming in a lane, respect the person in front. If you dont give them a 5 second window to get ahead, youre a knob. 2. If you are slower than me, please do not push off just before in about to turn. It makes me cross. 3. The fact that youre a slower swimmer than me doesnt make you a bad person. It doesnt mean youve failed at life. Im sure you have many other skills in other areas HOWEVER if you fail to respect the fact that I am faster than you and do not let me go in front, I will attempt to drown you. 4. It is not acceptable, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, to touch the feet of the person in front of you. Would you touch the feet of the person waiting for the bus in front of you? No. I thought not. Dont do it in the pool. If youre a faster swimmer, which if youre a foot toucher youre probably not, youve probably just not observed rule #1, then overtake. If not WAIT 5 SECONDS. 6. Dont do breaststroke in the fast lane. EVER. It is at this point that I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to sponsor me for my endeavours. Every pound I raise, although it will not reduce the lane rage, it will make me feel that bit better each time I am confronted with BHL and her friends, the foot touchers. I’m fundraising for Aspire who raise money for people with spinal injuries, many of whom are children and young people, often cyclists or triathletes who have been in an accident and, through no fault of their own, have been confined to a wheelchair for the rest of their lives. Aspire gives these people their lives back. Please please please help me make a difference and donate, either by my JustGiving page - justgiving/Jess-West or you can text 70070 with the code ASPI65 plus the amount you want to donate. Thanks and keep safe on the roads. Jess x
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 21:26:31 +0000