His life knew nothing but the loss of his father, but soon he grew up, he met people, lost people, departed from people, met his aunt whom now he loves as he does his mother, she was his mother. He became a tenth grader and met great classmates, he loved them and cared for them, one of them was a fat boy whom seemed as lonely as he was before creating his many personalities, the young lad barely spoke to him, but still he cared for him since the fat boy was always alone, and in the second semester, on a typically normal day, they received grim news, the fat boy was absent for a couple of days, and the reason: Hes DEAD Unexpected, he never expected it, and was shocked to hear it, and then it arose in him that black figure resting deep in the darkness in his heart, with its piercing eyes it pierced the boy to pieces, shocking him, electrocuting him, stabbing him with despair..... As he entered home with an emotionless expression, and as soon as he closed the door, his tears began falling like rain from the sky as he punched the ground after falling to his knees, punching the wall to his right with the right side of his right fist, screaming at the top of his lungs the anger, the rage, he fell to the ground kissing it with his corpse-like-body. And merely days after so, another friend, a one he held dear, he was a brother to the boy, someone he would kill for, unfortunately, that boy also...DIED. The boy again in his empty house cried, in an emotionless manner, holding his knees between his hands, the black figure inside his head returned, placed its hands on his neck, and began choking him, and choking him, the struggling boy, finally managed to break the mask that the black figure was using to cover its face, and when he saw it, he wished he didnt... It was an emotionless gaze, his eyes were filled with hatred, his eyes were filled with despair, filled with malice, and a calm wave of insanity, his skin was as cold as a corpses, what the boy found behind that mask was a copy of himself, but a darker copy, he was a afraid thinking this was the devil killing him, but no, it was him killing himself, the boy asked for the black figures identity, the black figure replied telling him that it is him, his darkness, it also tried to convince him, that this world is wrong, it is unfair it is terrible, it is hell, death was merely an escape towards happiness. Suicide? The boy laughed, and brushed off the idea, he had his mother, he wanted to live for her, and fight for her, and die for her, not for the selfish fact of relieving himself from the pain. Because he knew the pain his mother endured was far greater, he was a mere boy with few pains. He then went to his homeland, fell in love for the first time, although he didnt take it seriously at first, but still he enjoyed it. Years passed and naturally problems grew, he became fifteen, and she left him, on valentines day, he was saddened, troubled, and angered, he hated her, but loved her, he would grow even more insane, he loved only to hate later on, but to figure out that he still actually loved. He lived his life normally afterwards, he got closer to his god and religion, began praying, and loving his god and religion and prophet more, and more, she echoed in his head and he gazed at her pictures from day to night, and from night to day, he wanted to talk about getting back together, but he was far too much of a coward for such a thing. He hated himself, and his fate, but being the religious boy he is, he accepted it, and thanked god anyway, he looked at what he had, and realized, life stops for no one, and he wont stop. Before the ending of his romantic short childrens play, his mothers father was struck down with an illness, and eventually died, the boy was at school, and the darned reception told him something tragic has happened, that his mother is....Unwell... The boys eyes lost all signs of hope, he yelled questioning them and cussing at them, ran like a raging bull towards the exist stopped a taxi by standing infront of it, and got in it rushing crazily, tears flowed down his cheeks glittering as they reflected the sunlights ray, the taxi would calm the boy, but the boy only cried more as he remembered their sweet memories, his heart began beating faster and faster, his breathing was heavier, his body felt numb, he was on the verge of a panic attack. He entered his home and found his mother on the ground crying, yelling, weeping, her father had died, the boy felt a small wave of relief, but yet again, his life was struck by another death, his mother cried and wept, he cried but silenced his tears, he had to stop crying, he had to be the shoulder his mother needed to lean on, she was the one with the strongest shock. And two years after, his mothers mother died. the boy broke, angry and sad, questioning gods decision, why must he and his mother be tortured, why did his mother whom loved her god, and prayed , and did everything god ordered her to do, why must she suffer, he was awoken by wise words, god is right, he gave us everything and has the right to take everything, but people die, thats why this life is not the life we are promised in heaven. Aside from the religious matters, the boy was in that time full of despair, this life was nothing but torture, he held a knife and placed it on his hand as the black figure whispered to him, lets end it, were both tired, lets take a rest, the boy merely nodded, but then saw his mothers picture in his head, and yelled in denial, questioning the black figure, who the hell do you think I am, I am no stupid idiot to start cutting myself, Ill never do something so stupid, so I lost a few people, everyone lives through these pains, to hurt myself or even think of these things, did you seriously think thats who I am? You are far more foolish than a child, I still cant see my hope, but I was taught by novels and by shows I watched, and I will never give up! Life went on nicely, the boy is now seventeen years old, he was a religious, justice loving, calm guy, his darkness remained within him, he accepted it as it stabilized and was affected, knocking sense into it, now it only seeks to live in harmony with the boy, but the boy still had his facades, telling everyone what they want to hear, and praying that he can carry everyones sin on his back, he would carry all of their troubles and pains on his back, he walks a lonely road, but for the smiles of his loved ones he was happy to do it, he in many games that he played met many characters, Magusar, Sortiara, Persapius, Similia, Sympatha, and many characters, they became his friends, and while not real they were in his heart, and their words continue to echo in his head, Persapius taught him of hope. We are like animals, desperate to leave offsprings, hoping they would carry a piece of ourselves on towards eternity. We hope for so, yes we do, man has always hoped, and though the situations may appear desperate, with no glimpse of hope, desperate situations may taint our hearts, but no matter what hope will always shine brighter, just take a look at the men and women in mankinds history, brimming with hope, take their examples to heart, and shine as bright as they once did. Life is difficult, death, pain and despair surround us, sadness crushes us, betrayal stabs us, and departure kills us inside, but no matter what, no matter how desperate the situation is, never give up, for hope still remains, my friend left for studying, I felt really sad, but I still remained strong, I regarded him as my brother, and I still do, but I am not in despair, I will stand strong despite the pain, hope will remain alive, we merely need to fight for it, just take a look, at the men and women before us, brimming ever so brightly, with hope. So were the boys words, he was happy, he had his brothers, sisters, his mothers, his two mothers, his father, the boys eyes are filled with pain, insanity is also there, but he would always stand by you, he whom suffered greatly, he would smile even though he wants to cry, he would shoulder his own pains, and smile in your face, on his back the pain and despair of life, hell stand firmly and never give up, he is the sword of despair and hope. youtube/watch?v=fhVBoGY0FRE
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 13:07:59 +0000