Holiday Stress is Very Real People who don’t find the holidays a time of unmitigated joy face a double whammy—their own feelings and a sense of isolation because they’re not feeling how they assume everyone else feels. The portrayal of the holidays in ads and TV programming can reinforce these feelings of isolation: “There must be something wrong with me—look at how happy all these people are!” Even if intellectually we know these images do not represent reality—these are just actors getting paid to look gleeful—emotionally, it can be difficult to fully accept. The first thing is to stop beating yourself up and accept your feelings for what they are—yours. Faking gaiety is not going to do you, or anyone around you, any good. There are many reasons why you might not feel happy—maybe it’s a one-year thing due to a sadness or difficulty in your life; maybe your childhood memories of the holidays are not ideal; maybe the demands of this time of year saps the enjoyment you may otherwise feel. Your feelings can cause stress, which turns the double whammy into a triple whammy. Here are a few tips to help you cope with that stress: • Plan ahead. Holiday obligations are incremental to other daily commitments—work, family, household, social. Taking a few minutes to plan when you will do all the holiday-related stuff—buying and wrapping presents, cleaning and decorating, cooking and baking (if you are so inclined) will give you a sense of calm and control. And don’t wait until the last minute—the panic associated with doing so can send stress levels through the roof. • Don’t overspend. No one expects you to break your bank to give them a gift. Make agreements with whom you usually exchange gifts what the limit will be, and don’t exceed it. You may think you are doing a nice thing, but it will either anger the recipient or make them feel bad. If there are people at work you feel you should acknowledge with a gift, think about something small and fun; scratch-off lottery tickets work well. • Don’t look for trouble. Most of us have at least one relationship in our lives that is complicated. The holidays won’t cure that; in fact this time of year can bring simmering issues to a full boil. If there is no avoiding spending time with someone who can really push your buttons, keep a cool head and avoid confrontation. It’s not the time to try to work things out, partly because you will likely be doing so in front of others (not good) and partly because the confrontation will become a memory that may affect how you feel next holiday season. • Take some time for yourself. It doesn’t need to be a whole day or even a few hours (although that would be great if you can swing it). Even 15 or 30 minutes doing something that relaxes you is helpful, especially if you make time for it on a daily basis. And don’t let others tell you what the relaxation should be. For some it may be a soak in a tub, but for you it may be a crossword puzzle. Don’t add to your stress level by thinking you’re not relaxing in the right way! Talking to a highly-trained professional about your feelings can also help.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 16:12:34 +0000