How do I put into words how much you mean to me? How could I possibly explain to you that in a matter of 3 weeks, or a month, depending on who you ask, you have completely ROCKED my world, and changed me for the better? I have never loved a friend as much as I love you. I’ve never cared about someone as much as I care about you. I’ve always been so concerned with myself, and what I can do to make ME happy, that I’ve completely abandoned the people I treasure the most. But from the very beginning, I’ve sincerely cared about you. More than anything, I want you to be happy, and it makes me happy to know that I can be the one to do it. I can be the one that makes you smile without saying a word, and I can make you laugh, just by saying something, er, stupid. And that blows my mind, in the best possible way. You mean more to me than I think you realize. I never want to lose you, because now that I’ve found you, I have this overwhelming desire to make you the biggest part of my life. And I hope you’re okay with that. I’ve had friends, and I have friends now (even though you like to dwell on my lack of friends), but I didn’t have a true friend, someone I wanted to spend every possible second with. And that’s when you came along. From the moment I met you, I knew. I knew that you were different, that you were more special than the other people I’d met. I know that’s hard for you to comprehend, but it’s the truth. You’re such a truly amazing person, and I don’t deserve you. You’re so gifted in everything you do, and you make me want to be a better person. You make me happy, and as I’ve said before, the past 8 months of being fake, and drifting through life, are justified, because I have you to show for it. You make my life worthwhile, and seeing you every day is the highlight of my day/month/year. You’ve opened up a new side of my personality, where unconditional love threatens to bubble over at any moment. You make me feel safe enough to let go. NO ONE ELSE makes me feel this good. NO ONE ELSE gets me the way that you do. NO ONE ELSE has had access to my heart as quickly and as easily as you have. NO ONE ELSE hugs me like you do. We fit, both physically and figuratively.. I’m content with my life, as it is now. I don’t understand why we get along so well, we just do. And maybe that’s why it feels so perfect and so right. It scares me, to think that I could lose you, and lose this joy that is so consuming. You fill me up, with happiness, and with love. I don’t want to spend time with anyone else, because I know, deep down, that I could be having more fun with you. That scares me too. I don’t want to take you away from your friends; I want you to be happy with other people too. But the selfish part of me, the part I keep buried, bubbles up with jealousy every time I see you with other people. Maybe that’s my problem, an issue I need to work out within myself. But, like most things, I can’t keep it a secret from you. I don’t have secrets with you, because I tell you everything with little or no prompting. And it makes me so happy to do it. You’ve lightened my load considerably, and now I want to do it for you. That’s what best friends do, by my definition. I want to be the best best friend ever, after all. It’s who I am. With every friend I’ve had in the past, with one exception, I’ve had to mold myself to fit their expectations of me. I’ve had to fake it, and over time, I’ve become relatively good at it, as you’re well aware of. For the second time in my life, I’m letting someone see the real me. The Kaylee Elizabeth Harvey: Live and Uncensored” version of me. You’re getting it all: the good, the bad, and the weird. Take from it what you will. All I want in return is for you to trust me and lean on me when you’re feeling scared or alone or confused. I know you’ve already told me so much, but I will never stop wanting to know more. I care about you and what you have to say. Your thoughts, your dreams, your stories, they MATTER to me. I care about your past, and your present, and your future. I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m willing to wait on you. I want to break your walls down, all of them, because I care enough to try, and try again. I’m not giving up on you, and I’ll never lose faith in you. I want to be the person you call in the middle of the night, just to talk. (Even though I hate talking on the phone.) I want to be the person you never get tired of being with. I want to be the person that makes you the happiest. I want to be the person that makes your face light up when you see me. You’re already those things to me. If I don’t text you AT LEAST once a day, I feel lost, and even a bit lonely. I love you all very much! :)
Posted on: Sun, 06 Oct 2013 03:09:40 +0000
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