How to Be Strong When faced with difficult circumstances, why do some people falter and spiral towards self-destruction while others survive and even thrive once the storm has passed? No one is immune to adversity, but some people seem to be better able to cope with and recover from even the most strenuous conditions. To develop your own mental, follow these suggestion. 1. Being Mentally Strong Remember that you are in control. Strength implies having power and being able to affect ones own life, while weakness implies being powerless and helpless. Whatever your circumstances, there are things you can control, and things you cant. The key is to focus on the things you can control. Make a list of what is troubling you, then make a list of what you can do to make each situation better. Accept the items on the first list (they are what they are) and focus your energy on the second list.In studies of people with a high Adversity Quotient (AQ), its observed that resilient people not only always find some aspect of a situation that they can control, but also feel responsible for taking action to fix the situation, even if their hardship was caused by someone else. Those with a low AQ, however, ignore opportunities to take action and deflect accountability, presuming that because they didnt create the situation, they should not be the ones to fix it. 2. Choose your attitude. Sometimes, we encounter situations in which we really are helpless to enact change. Even though these times are trying, you can still be in control because no matter what, you can always control your attitude towards life. As Victor Frankl put it: We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way. Regardless of what is happening, be positive.If somebody is making your life miserable, dont let them crush your spirit. Continue to be proud, have hope, and remember that attitude is something that no one can take away from you. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, as Eleanor Roosevelt said.Try not to let a crisis or hardship in one area of your life spill over into other areas of your life. If youre facing great difficulty with work, for instance, dont behave irritably towards your significant other when theyve done nothing but try to help. Eliminate the side effects of your hardship by controlling your own attitude. Resilient people do not turn every setback into a catastrophe, nor do they let negative events follow a domino effect through their lives. If it helps, remember and recite the Serenity prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 3. Rediscover your zest for life. Emotionally strong people view each and every day as a gift. They try to structure them so that the gift is taken advantage of fully. Remember when you were a child and could get excited by the simplest wonders of life — playing with leaves in the fall, drawing a make-believe animal, eating a smore? Find that inner child. Be that inner child. Your ability to be mentally and emotionally strong depends on it. 4. Have faith in yourself. Youve made it this far. You can make it through just one more day. And if you take it just one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, you can survive whatever youre going through. It wont be easy, and youre not invincible, so take baby steps. When you feel like youre about to fall apart, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember these things in your quest:Dont listen to the naysayers. There will always be people who doubt you, for whatever reason. Your job is to not listen to them and, ultimately, to prove them wrong. Dont let them take hope away from you just because theyve lost theirs. The world is practically begging you to transform it. What are you waiting for?Think about the times that youve succeeded. Use them as motivation in your journey. Whether its that classroom assignment you aced, that person you talked to, or the birth of your child, let it feed your desire to be a stronger, more adjusted person. Like begets like!Try, try, and try again. There will come a time when you doubt yourself because you tried and failed. But you know what? Thats only one part of the journey, one chapter in the book. Instead of giving up because you failed and getting down on yourself, take a longer perspective, a broader angle. Try again. Know that success is built upon a ladder of failure. 5. Pick your battles wisely. Does every little thing that exasperates you — a colleague asking a question, a driver cutting you off — need to? Ask yourself why and whether these things matter. Try whittling your life down to a few core values that mean the world to you, and dont worry about anything else. As Sylvia Robinson once said, Some people think its holding on that makes one strong — sometimes its letting go. 6. Reach out to the people who mean the most to you. Spend time with friends and family, along with others who are supportive and positive. If no one is available,make new friends. And if there are no friends to be found, help others who are in greater need than you are. Sometimes when we feel like we cant better our own situations, we can find strength in bettering someone elses, and we can also gain perspective on our own lives.Theres no doubting it — humans are very social animals. Studies and science both point to social wellbeing as an important factor in emotional and physical health. If you feel like youre struggling socially, its worth trying to get some help. Heres a start: Have a great conversation with someone Get over mistakes — dont let them define you! Recover after a breakup Overcome shyness Act like an extrovert 7.Strike a balance between work and play, rest and activity. Sounds easy enough, doesnt it? Its sorely overlooked precisely because its deceptively hard. Either we work too hard and are constantly moving around, or we slack off more than we should and lounge like hippos, idle, on the banks of opportunity. Getting a good balance between work and play, rest and activity, will allow you to appreciate each mode for what its worth. The grass wont seem greener on the other side because you wont be boxed in just one pasture. 8. Be thankful for what you have. Life is tough, but if you look closely enough, youll find an infinite number of things to be grateful for. Even if the things that made you happy in the past are gone, theres so much more to appreciate still. The joy you derive from the world around you is the fuel thatll push you through the hardest of times, so pay attention to what you have and enjoy it for what its worth. Sure, you might not have that new shirt, or whatever it is you want, but at least you have this computer, with the Internet, equipped with the ability to read. Some people cant read, have no computer, and live in no home. Think about that. 9. Dont take things so seriously. Charlie Chaplin knew something about comedy. He famously said: Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. Its all too easy to get wrapped up in our own small tragedies that cause us to act and react on a micro level. But take a step back and look at life more philosophically, more mischievously, more romantically. The wonder, the limitless possibilities, the absurdity of it all — its enough to make you laugh at how strangely lucky you are.Because, lets face it, life is just more fun when it isnt taken too seriously. And while making fun and being happy certainly isnt all life has to offer, its an important part, right? 10.Remember that nothing is permanent. If you’re in the middle of a period of grief or pain that you can’t control, stand aside and let the moment happen. If you are going through a prolonged period of difficulty, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 08:01:35 +0000
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