How was your summer? I always feel a little strange when someone asks me how my summer was and I just give a blank stare and reply…”we are surviving” Today we are in the cancer clinic to check blood counts trying to prepare for a 3-4 day admission for chemotherapy starting tomorrow. We are still in the midst of a nasty treatment and last week we were in the clinic on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday for different variations of check-ups and chemotherapy. This has been pretty consistent our entire summer and I would be lying if I said that it has been good.. We spend at least 50% of our days as a family in the hospital and the other 50% trying to stabilize the rest of our family. Lola’s bloodwork came back poor today and she is no longer able to start her inpatient chemotherapy tomorrow. This has unfortunately been quite typical making it almost impossible for us to schedule anything, or predict when this treatment will be over. When people ask how we are doing I am still unsure how to answer…Two nights ago we all went without sleep because Lola was awake with stomach and Back pain, most likely from chemotherapy. When your child wakes you up at 2pm with back pain as a cancer parent it is impossible to go back to sleep. I have found that the most difficult part of this lifestyle is when I try and make plans for the future or think about what Lola, or our life might look like in the future. When I live in, and focus on, the day that God laid out for me I can enjoy the Grace and Peace He provides to make it through. The truth is when I live one day at a time I can see the blessings I have, and the laughs and smiles and joy that comes with having an incredible family and the best support system ever. When I look to the future or try and compare my life to others it is depressing; and because we have missed so much and still have such a long and uncertain path ahead. When I give up control and rest in Christ and His plan….we are still able to have a lot of joy. Matthew 6:34 (MSG) | 34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Psalm 31:14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, You are my God. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Daniel 6:23 The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 01:24:31 +0000
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