How well we develop our God-given self determines to a large degree whether we will become emotionally healthy individuals or suffer from narcissistic or other adjustment disorders. For some reason, the potentially narcissistic person fails to develop his true God-given self and shifts his energies into becoming the kind of person he thinks he must be in order to feel good about himself—someone that everyone will admire. Instead, of becoming the person God created him to be—with strengths and weaknesses like the rest of us, he can only feel good about himself when his false grandiose perfect self is being affirmed. But in seeking constant admiration, the narcissist looks to everyone else to prop up his unrealistic self-image. In the process he obliterates the boundaries between himself and others. He expects others to live for him and to affirm his unrealistic self rather than be the distinct people God called him to be. He uses others rather than loves them. He does this to ward off his deep fears of abandonment, shame, sadness, and depression. Narcissistic traits can develop from several different types of early life experiences, but they all have one thing in common. They all undermine the child’s acceptance of his true, God-given self. Parents who pamper a child by always giving him his way, who neglect a child, or are so needy or intrusive that they repeatedly force the child to meet these needs, can all lead to narcissism. Permissiveness and pampering tend to program children with undeserved feelings of entitlement or superiority. These children don’t learn humility and respect for others because their parents haven’t set limits and modeled mutual respect. ~ Understanding Narcissism Paul M. Floyd, M.Div., J.D. and Bruce Narramore, Ph.D.
Posted on: Sun, 15 Sep 2013 17:11:13 +0000
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