Howdy, everyone! I apologize that, although Ive posted content about religion and family and politics almost daily for months, I havent posted anything for the last five days. Ive been feeling even worse than usual this week and havent felt up to doing much of anything other than both unsuccessfully hunting for apartments and barely managing to watch television. I keep sensing, whether its actually happening or not, that Satan keeps relentless working on my spirit, as he has for much of these last five years, allegedly separating it somehow into various tiny portions and then wantonly remaking those portions into all sorts of things other than myself, damaging me and weakening me and, in my weakened state, working relentlessly to increasingly manipulate and/or control my feelings and thoughts and such to some extent, and (in more recent weeks) trying to force my weakened injured confused mind to think things that I know are not so, especially about the Holy Spirit, which I resist every time as forcefully as I still can. Perhaps Id find relief by either giving in or giving up, but thats not an option for me. God and His love and truth and righteousness and such are worth striving for, every moment of every day, no matter how daunting such battles may seem. So, I keep on fighting while I also keep praying for heavenly relief but with only minimal results. Ive prayed so long (and hard) for deliverance and healing and protection and forgiveness and such, from whatever I need it to whatever extent I can/should have it, and Ive felt so desperate to obtain it, and also so bewildered why it kept not coming. I think that its because my faith has been weak, especially in my poor condition, and so Ive needed to rely upon the faith of others, instead, and I havent necessarily done the best job of doing more than waiting patiently for such help to come but, instead, actively seeking it out. So, Id appreciate any faithful fervent prayers for my welfare, especially for immediate (and lasting) salvation, inasmuch as its still possible, from all aspects of this ongoing spiritual nightmare. It cant come soon enough for my liking. I suspect that sheer willpower alone is now about all thats been keeping me hanging on. Please dont let me die!!! Amidst this ongoing horror, Ive enjoyed some wonderful reassuring experiences, as well, especially while I was getting out of bed on Monday, but these have remained rare. So, if you believe in God, then will you please pray for my spiritual welfare, inasmuch as youre not already doing so? Also, do you know any extremely faith-filled priesthood holders who live near Provo and who would love to cast out some demons? Also, whats been happening this week while Ive remained relatively incapacitated?
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 17:48:51 +0000
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