I HAVE MOVED ON: 2 September 2013 To all my dear friends, work colleagues and relatives. May I take this opportunity to inform you that I have since changed my name from Tendayi Westerhof to Tendayi Christine Kateketa. This has come after realization that I have since moved on with my life. I had kept my former marriage name after the divorce in 2004 mainly because my daughter Aaliyah Nyashadzashe Westerhof was still very young and it was for her sake that I saw the need to share the same name with her as her father was the only man that I was married to. Now my child is a little older and in a position to understand why she has a single parent. A person has a constitutional right to use a name of their choice. In Zimbabwe there is no law that says when a woman is divorced or married under the Chapter 5:11 she must immediately change her surname. The change of name might become an issue once the woman decides to marry and weds again under the same marriage act chapter 5:11 which allows for one man one wife or one woman one husband. This differs from one individual to the other depending on their circumstances. Many people thought I went into my previous marriage for material gain but the truth of the matter to many who knew me at the time was my former husband was never a rich man and I loved him dearly but he betrayed me. I have also forgiven all those who caused pain on me by calling me names such as “gold digger” etc. I had to give up everything including my job, my 3 Cs and sale of my own home that I had acquired when I was still single and used the proceeds as my contributions towards the marriage and purchase of our former matrimonial home which was located in Mt Peasant northern suburb in Harare. Whilst my divorce was by consent. I was traumatized and made to sign the consent paper under duress because my lawyer (who is now late) had been bribed by my former husband. The day before I signing the consent paper, my lawyer has tried everything to make me sign and when I refused, he even drove to my house late that night and intimidated me threatening that if I did not sign the papers, the court was not going to rule in my favour and that if the matter goes to trial it would cost me a lot of money. He said this was the best deal for me. I was so scared of the unkown as a result I signed the consent paper under duress. To my surprise the following morningon my way to court, I found my lawyer sitting together with my husband in my lawyer`s car and discussing something privately and they were surprised by my sudden appearance. My lawyer apologised and insisted that there was nothing sinister going on. My former husband’s lawyer never entertained me at any stage. I thought my lawyer would protect me and the child as he knew the law better to ensure that at the end of the day we got our fair share from the divorce and immediately move on. We live in a crooked world sometimes where some people would do anything for money. The negative publicity of this divorce which was mostly biased against me also played a part of in this. This has been the case in such public scenarios where a man gets public sympathy than the woman even if the man is wrong. There is a High Court order that clearly states that the proceeds from the sale of the matrimonial home are to be shared equally among my former husband, myself and the child, my former husband and his lawyers never adhered to the high court order up to this day. My former husband sold the matrimonial home in foreign currency to a local bank with a regional focus and all the monetary transactions were done at the branch of that bank in Botswana and outside Zimbabwe . My former husband’s lawyer event travelled to Botswana to facilitate the completion of the foreign currency monetary transaction. He also was charged his legal fees in foreign currency. A local private company belonging to a senior executive of this bank was used as a front to purchase the house to conceal the underhand dealings. As we speak today a senior official of this bank now resides at my former matrimonial home in Mt Pleasant. This was the period of high inflation in the country when the Zimbabwe dollar had no value. No-one would sell their properties in Zim dollars at that time as many property sellers in connivance with their estate agents sold properties in foreign currency but produced agreements of sale in local currency and in case of dispute these are agreement of sale that they produced in a court of law. They also made transactions in local currency through a local bank to support the agreement of sale and took so long avail the funds to me and the child until the funds lost value and could not buy any property anywhere in Zimbabwe as the money was equivalent to less than only 1USD. This was the same in my case. My former husband took all the proceeds in foreign currency leaving me and the child with nothing. Justice Rita Makarau would not protect the vulnerable child who was at the centre of this acrimonious divorce. She ordered me and the child to vacate the house in August of 2009 despite that I had explained to her through my new lawyer who had now taken over the case, the circumstances that the property was sold under had short-changed me and the child. There were too many interested parties in my case as a result I was left in a vulnerable situation like most women and children. All the records are there at the High Court of Zimbabwe. Today my 10 year little girl is homeless and living a life of abject poverty, the father Clemens Westerhof never paid any form of maintenance and did not give us our share from the proceeds of the sale of the matrimonial home despite a standing high court order. He has hidden himself away from her and we are ignorant of his whereabouts. All we have is an email address where I have tried to contact him on behalf of the child but he never responds. The child does not know him at all and she keeps asking me saying, “Mummy where is my dad how come he does not love me others laugh at me at school that you do not have a dad?” Yes whilst I appreciate that having a marriage certificate is good but at the same time it does not protect women and children at a time of divorce, on paper yes, but in reality the situation is totally different and in many instances our courts have no time to understand the social underlying factors in each case. Justice Rita Makarau and the then Deputy Sheriff whom I only recall as a Mr Matipano who authorised the change of ownership for the title deeds of the property under unclear circumstances, is not even aware of how her judgement and his actions impacted on my life and that of the little child, she is not even aware that her judgment left us homeless and with nothing. My case might not be an isolated one as there could be many women and children with the same experience. I was forced not to appeal against the High Court judgement because I had no resources to continue pursuing the case and besides several lawyers that I contacted where reluctant to assist me because of whom I am and the negative publicity that now overshadowed my life. I might be famous but in reality I am the poorest celebrity in Zimbabwe though in spirit I am very wealthy. As many might be aware, I am an author of books and several papers on health matters which all carry the surname from my previous marriage, these books will no longer be available on the market and I have instructed my publishers to stop further production. However because of the message in the books those in research can always access the books from the archives and continue to use the information appropriately. I told my story, many people were assisted and its now history and water under the bridge. Time is the best healer and the wounds that were caused by my life experiences from the time I was a young girl, a teenager, destructive love relationships, marriage, HIV, gender, and divorce have since healed. I have no regrets. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for walking me through and for giving me a new lease of life and hope for the future. It is well with my soul. I have now closed this chapter. However, I will continue HIV and AIDS activism and advocacy as this is now part and parcel of my life and everyone`s responsibility to work towards an AIDS free generation. I will also make effort to change all my official and lawful documents which include my national identity card, my passport, other documents and places that state my previous marriage as an on-going process. I thank you all for supporting Tendayi Westerhof over the years, the hundreds of models she trained and groomed in Zimbabwe, the many young people, men, women, faith communities, workplaces, AIDS service providers, and the media who helped her in this work during the last 13 years. All this work was on voluntary and humanitarian basis out of my passion love to help my community, others and I never benefited materially. My life has continued to be a school of hard knocks. May I therefore request that people address me as Ms Tendayi Kateketa. I trust with time many will get used to this name in the long run.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Sep 2013 09:05:26 +0000
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