"I Remember Who She Is" I live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and on March 30th, we mourned the death of Coach Mal Moore. Most knew him as the University of Alabama Athletics Director who hired current Alabama Coach Nick Saban. In the late 1950s and early 60s, Moore spent his college career playing at Alabama, and later was Offensive Coordinator for Coaches Paul “Bear” Bryant and Gene Stallings. Coach Moore probably had more football national championship rings than anyone in history, a total of ten from over 50 years with the Crimson Tide. He was universally loved by the Alabama faithful, a kind man who would quietly give football tickets to parents who wanted to take their children to a game, but couldn’t afford it. Why? He remembered growing up with little money in Dozier, AL. Instead of taking credit for his own myriad achievements, he praised those around him. There is no way to count the number young men and women he mentored over his career in coaching and administration. Moore was master story-teller, and kept everyone in the room laughing as he related tales of the legendary “Bear” Bryant. What most people don’t know about Coach Moore is that he spent 20 years as a caregiver to his wife, Charlotte, who had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. Charlotte was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s around 1990, while Moore was Offensive Coordinator for Alabama Coach Gene Stallings. He rarely if ever talked about his caregiving with anyone then, but would go home several times a day to check on Charlotte. During the last years of Coach Moore’s life, he began to speak publicly about his caregiver journey, so his experiences could help others. For the first 15 years or so, Coach Moore cared for Charlotte at home. He employed caregivers during the day, as it was dangerous for her to stay by herself, but had no help at night unless he was out of town. The stories he told showed the oppressive isolation of a caregiver, who spent every moment outside work caring for his wife. He thought he had to walk the path alone. The most moving story I heard was of the day he found himself in the emergency room with a heart attack. When the doctor asked whom they should call, he could think of no one. Moore’s only child lived across the country and she was pregnant at the time. Of course, calling Charlotte was out of the question. Although he was arguably one of the most powerful men in college athletics, Coach Moore’s friendships had gone by the wayside in his years of caregiving for Charlotte. The lesson Coach Moore stressed during these talks was that caregivers should seek help from family, friends and community agencies. Bearing the burden all by yourself is not only detrimental to your own health, but also to the health of your loved one with Alzheimer’s. Especially for the men in the audience, Coach Moore’s honesty about his struggles as a caregiver had an incredible impact. Aside from his numerous accomplishments for the University of Alabama, Coach Moore exemplified the quiet dedication so many Alzheimer’s caregivers give to loved ones. To me the 20 years of loving care he gave Charlotte during her battle with Alzheimer’s was his greatest achievement in a life filled to the brim with amazing milestones. One final story: After Coach Moore’s heart attack, Charlotte went to live in a local nursing home. He generally visited her 3 times a days, so he could to feed her meals. A friend asked him, “Why do you visit Charlotte so often? She doesn’t remember who you are.” Moore replied, “Yes, but I remember who SHE is.” Rest in peace, Coach Moore. frankmartingilligan.bandcamp/
Posted on: Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:51:44 +0000
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